After those months, the thoughts came back. The demons grew and grew and grew. They wanted me to collapse. To crumble under their bodies. But I stayed strong for a little while. Until one Saturday night.
It was about mid-march. The trees just started getting green again. The flowers were growing buds. The many animals started waking up out of hibernation. It was beautiful. But the sad thing was I was blind to it all. The trees. The flowers and their buds. The awakening animals coming out of a deep slumber.
It was really late. Like 4 in the morning. I was alone mentally and physically. The demons clawed their way out of my head into my finger tips. Transferring their energy from my fingertips to the blade in my hand and onto my left wrist.
The feeling was horrible. But also at the same time very satisfying. First I didn't think I cut deep enough so I put more pressure on the shiny, silver, rectangular thing.
Thats when I learned you have to wait for the blood to surface. The blood was beaded at first then it ran down my wrist like rivers. But then I didn't realize that I created a addiction. Not one, but two.
At this time my cousin Shane was staying with us. He was a 33 year old father to two twins named Shane jr. And Xaiden. With a fine ass red Nissan truck. He seems like a pretty okay guy, right? Well friend, that's where your wrong. He had a drug addiction and his wife kicked him out.
Well anyway, he always left his cigarettes out on the front porch. That's when I became tempted. I stuck it right between my teeth and lit it.
It burned. Bad. It tasted like a forest fire happened in my mouth. It was absolutely disgusting. But it also gave me life. I felt like I haven't lived before I've done this.
So a couple of weeks passed since my little slip up and that's when I discovered my love for music
