Alpha Instincts

Epilogue

I stared at my reflection in my bedroom, hardly believing the changes I'd undergone in the past six months. My eyes were still the same colour, but there was a glint of a warrior in them, a fierceness that I couldn't define. I took a step back and overlooked my black clothing, noting my defined arm muscles and the taught skin underneath my dress.

Today was the funeral for those who passed during the war against Lucille. It felt strange knowing that my mother had caused all of the damage at Albany. Red had been a mere pawn in her work and I'd blamed everything on him the whole time I'd been tracking her. Not that my opinion on him has changed at all – he was still guilty.

I promised Quinn that I'd hold a private funeral for Red and Lucille after the attack, so that we could have some closure. After Lucille stabbed dad, she'd fled off to the back of the building. But the thing was, no one had seen her leaving and the Shadow Falls pack had the entire building surrounded – so there was only one answer.

She'd burned down with the building.

The image of the cellar came back to me in flashes. The dirt. The smell. The metal bars that confined me to my cell.

Suddenly the walls of my bedroom were closing in, threatening to overcome me. My breaths came out quickly and shortened, almost like a pant. There was an unforgiving tightness in my chest.

Air. I needed air.

I raced over to my bedroom window, my hands fumbling with the lock to get it open. Finally, after what seemed like minutes, I got it open and cool air rushed into my bedroom. I stood there for a few minutes, letting the coolness rush over me and provide me with relief. I steadied my breathing, taking a deep breath in, then out, then repeating.

When I was feeling better, I returned back to the mirror and mechanically finished my makeup and appearance. I put in my left earring, then my right, and did the same with my shoes.

I found a calmness in the order.

My dad needed me to be strong. Not only for him and for the pack, but for myself.

I laid a white rose on Nyla's gravestone. The fallen werewolves who were taken out of the building in time for its collapse had been brought back and buried in the clearing besides the Shadow Falls waterfall.

Twenty werewolves had died in the battle, including the soldiers from the Strongshade pack. It was a large loss, considering our packs had become smaller and smaller across history.

Red and Lucille had their headstones a little further down the river, by my order. I had placed a flower on both of their graves. Sure, Lucille hadn't been the mother I'd reminisced, but it was the living memories of her tucking my hair behind my ear and giving me hugs that I mourned. A lot of people had protested at giving them headstones, but it didn't make history different. I knew their actions were unacceptable, but I also understood there was a time when things were different. A time when Lucille and Red had been good. They would get their consequences for their actions wherever they may be, but I wouldn't allow bitterness towards the enemy to fuel the pack's ire.

I passed by all of the tombstones, and finally came to a standstill at the last grave. It was the exact same design as the others – white marble – just as I knew he'd prefer. My father had always wanted to be an equal for all of those around him despite his title.

I stood at his grave until the warm weather subsided, until the coldness began to inch its way into my frozen body, holding me still. Sometimes I cried, not noticing the murmurs of sympathy around me.

Mostly, I prayed for his happiness.

I hoped that he wasn't in pain, that there was only peace and harmony. I hoped that he would no longer be confined by his love for Lucille. I hoped that he had a restful sleep.

He had been my father, my Alpha, my tutor and my supporter, although I'd never been grateful for it. I wished that I could turn back time, to relive the moments I'd condemned him and changed them for the better. I wanted him back.

Quinn stood solemnly besides me, waiting with me even though we were the last people to remain in the clearing.

I leaned down and placed my last rose beside his headstone, tears silently cascading from my face, just as the Shadow Falls waterfall spilled besides me.

"I love you," I whispered, swiping my tears and returning by Quinn's side, sinking into his welcoming arms.

Nothing that involved death could ever be labelled as a win, even if our pack did defeat our opposition. Saying that we'd won would be wrong, because winning must involve happiness, and right now we didn't have that. I knew we would in the future, however, because I'd made a promise to see through my duty as Alpha until the end. That I would do anything it took to be the Alpha the pack needed. And I promised, with my entire being, that I would make it right. 

THE END