Unnoticed Feelings (It's Just You And Me)

My life before to now

  Everyday I go to college feeling the same way as I do everyday.
I watch everyone walk in and out of college looking and feeling great.
 
  Sometimes I wonder why is everyone so okay with everything and I feel all so messed up.
   I live with both parents and most of them only live with one or none,but yet they still smile.

   I wanted to know their secret,but what possible secret could there be to just be happy and move at your own flow.
  I was messed up because I had to switch colleges due to the new job my dad got a while back.

   He was an advertiser for all those brand new cars that kept popping out four times a year.
  My mom worked as a personal therapist, yeah a therapist... She helps those big shot,rich people, to figure out money problems, why they can't stay long in a marriage or relationship with someone and what not...
 
  She gets more cash than my dad and every now and again they argue on who pays for my trust fund,provides me with personal money and who should provide for the family, like buy groceries clothes,pay bills and stuff...it's their living, so I can't really complain or anyone else for that matter, since I am only child.
   
We recently moved to Miami from Boston about three months ago and ever since then I've felt home sick,cause all my friends (Terri,Lawrence and Leyla) are back in Boston,while we live here.

   But I've met some nice people in the college but they're not quite like my friends back home. They're way cooler and a lot more funny. (Sorry old friends)

To be honest, although I'm not in contact with my old friends. I still miss them and would like to visit them whenever I get the chance when I'm out of college.

  Plus it ain't all that bad,it has nice teachers, cool students,entertaining classes and the cute stranger that always changes my bad mood and always takes glimpses at me before disappearing into thin air.
  He's gorgeously tanned,has short black hair,blueish green eyes, muscular, like he was dropped out of heaven for me,soft lush pink lips and the voice that can pull your heart strings and play out a song.
  I may sound crazy in love him and who cares... I am,but if you saw him for yourself you  would definitely,without a doubt, say the same thing.

  He hangs out with the jocks of the football team,I think they were called the Red Rebels or something...most of the time and I watch him play at his games secretly, but he notices me watching almost every time.
  Taking off his shirt,showing off all of his hard earned muscles. His bulging,rock- hard abs,chest,his big arms and rocking back, all dripping with sweat running down. Yeah I spy on him sometimes...it's what girls do when they can't say the word damn to a hot guy with their own mouth.

  He attends most of the classes I take and may be a few times I caught him watching and staring me down and when I watch him watch me,he always winks and has me blushing crazily... Hey I can't help it ,so don't judge me!
   It's just something inside me that has my heart going for him and the types of things that go through my mind every time I see him, I wouldn't dare open my mouth to say to him,cause then he'll think I'm weird or obsessing over him (and I highly doubt he noticed that), that is if I get the chance to talk to him without shying myself away from the idea if talking to him.

  I'm a little shy of him because I dream about him and seeing him face to face,looking,getting lost into those vibrant eyes,I might stutter and faint,that and what I might say to him,cause my friends say I'm brutally honest and mostly speak my mind a little too much.
   I've dated before,after losing my boyfriend (my first one),but guys were a little freaked out when I was too honest and too open with myself.

    I lost my boyfriend to another girl a couple of years ago and I only got to find out I've been cheated on when I saw the mystery woman and him making love in his room, when I noticed he was hardly paying attention to me.
    I was in shock,I was hurt for what I witnessed before my eyes,hec...I couldn't even get words to come out my mouth. I was pissed at him,I was sad,I felt a whole bunch of emotions one after the other at the same time.
  We all stared at each other,he claimed that it wasn't what it looked like,she looked surprised as I am,angry too,cause we have never seen before. I watched the picture of him and I together at a party in a frame on his nightstand, I took it broke the glass (didn't care if I'd cut myself) and ripped myself out of the picture, I then watched my hand bled and said it's over and left.
  I just let the other woman handle him, while I run away,straight back home to my room and let myself cry til I couldn't even cry anymore. I was confused,dumbfounded, surprised,heartbroken and mad that I just let the new found pain from the cut in my hand, from the glass  take over,letting my  hand bleed ,cause I wanted to forget what I witnessed.

   That same night I didn't sleep,I watched in my head over and over again memories of us together to now and thinking what did I do to deserve this shit.    I treated him right,be the perfect girl for him and he takes my heart and pulled it out... What kind of guy would do such a horrible thing?
   After that day I got depressed for a month or two,then I got over it and decided that I wasn't got to put myself in that situation again until I was ready and able...