Random Thoughts

The Girl Inside

She's a strong and independent woman. Always used to being the boss of herself. Last thing she want in her life is to get tied and her freedom taken away. Her freedom is her treasure. It makes her who she is. From a simple daily decisions making to a ground breaking life changing decision. She do things in her own way and she doesn't care of what people might say about her. She's a woman who knows what she wants and finds a way to have it on her own. She won't ask for help or draw other people's attention. She always believed that if the door is lock, it definitely have a key to open it. She doesn't wait for opportunity to knock at her door. She goes out and search for it. Once she finds it, she grabs it with both of her hands and is always eager to be successful on whatever her hand grabbed on.

She's a wanderer. In mind and in action. With her backpack and camera she'll explore the secrets and hidden beauty of the world. She'll discover more things that her camera can capture. During her journey she loves to meet different people from different races and culture. And there, her another exploration starts. She explores human mind through deep and long talks. A full pack conversation makes her mind stimulated and keep her interest burning. You'll be amazed of how much facts, trivia and information does she have inside her mind. Her opinion in certain things and issues will bring you to the brink of your thinking. Her intelligence is one of the factor men loves her or get intimated by her.

...but what lies behind this strong and independent woman? Take a closer look and you'll find her broken pieces. Her scars and her insecurities that she's trying to hide behind her intimidating and independent self. You'll find a woman trying to be strong despite the painful fall. A woman who went through many things that made her to be the strong independent woman she is now.

Love is what people desire to feel...but for her, it's the scariest word she ever heard. And the most painful feeling she ever felt. When her dream became a nightmare. It's when love became a poison for her...and something that she promise to never welcome in her heart again.

So if you ever fall in love with this scarred woman, keep in mind that when you...

..stare at her for a long time, she'll raise you an eyebrow. When you smile at her, she'll ignore you. When you talk to her, you'll receive no response. When you show her how interested you are, she'll avoid you like some incurable disease. When you tell her you like her, she'll laugh at you. When you try showing it to her through sweet efforts and gestures, she'll punch you. If you make her blush, she'll hate you...and when you tell her you love her, she'll definitely kill you.

...but don't be afraid for those are just her defenses. Her wall to protect herself. Her warning to her own self. For she once been there and felt the same feeling but found herself falling and shattering into pieces. Her most trusted man let her fall. Hard. And left her just like that. So before you let yourself love her, make sure you won't give up even a single day to pursue her. For she promised to not accept any shit about love anymore...unless someone out there take the courage and break her wall.

Then get yourself ready for she will put up a great fight. Pushing you away with all her might. She will hold on tight to the wall she built after her fall. She'll tell you and show you that she doesn't need you. She will do her best to ignore you and tell herself she doesn't need anyone like you. She will make everything worst until you're on the verge of giving up...

...but please, don't ever do that. Hang on to her and be more patient. For you know her past and where all those wall came from. Don't stop breaking that wall where she imprisoned herself for a long time. She needs someone to save her from her own walls. She's just waiting for someone to melt that ice that formed to protect her heart from getting burned and hurt all at once.

Be that fire that will not burn her but a fire that will warm her heart and make it beat again. For all those years she's been cold and stone hearted, her heart stopped beating for love. I know she will be tough to handle and you might get hurt in the process...but you have to understand that after her fall, it took her long years to get where she is. To pick up her pieces and put it back together even it hurts. To be that whole again despite the cracks and scars of her past.

She became strong after all those years. Even too strong for other men to handle...but I know you're different. From the moment she laid eyes on you. I was sure her years of hiding will soon stop and her walls will break down. You're the one I've been waiting for to save her.

She maybe strong...but she's always been afraid of one thing. And that is to fall in love again. To need someone except herself. And I'm sure that despite her shouts of denial of not needing you, her walls are starting to break down.

I know it...because at the center of her stoned cold heart and wall is a girl who wanted to go out and not be afraid anymore. A girl who wanted her to be happy. A girl who's tired of seeing that same woman crying at night and being alone. She deserves more than the tears and loneliness she have. She deserves happiness...and love.

So please, don't give up on her.

For when you finally break her walls and melt the ice in her heart, you will find a woman who will change your life.

From,
The Girl Inside

*Originally posted in my webpress account. veesummers.webpress.com