Habits of My Heart

-17-

The next few days were the same.

Again Craig hadn't come to school and it's leaving me with a bunch of weird emotions.
Some days I feel sad or angry sometimes its guilt or remorse maybe. But with all that I simply feel terrible.

I actually find myself going down his street on my ways home from school or work. Walking by his house a million times trying to find the words to say sorry but I can never piece together the right ones.

Maybe I should just give up, he'll never take me back let alone forgive me.
But even though we weren't dating it still hurts. Day by day, week by week the pain grew more and more to the point I just lost hope and practically gave up and tried to forget about him and move on.

But that was a bad idea cause I started drinking again and going to more house parties. I was becoming the old me again the one everyone seemed to love. The party loving whore who would sleep with anything and anyone.

I tried not to go back to that but I stopped when I was spending time with Craig but since he's not in my circle anymore...

Guess it doesn't matter what I do.