The Chasing of Moons

Rated Gee

"You are so unbelievably stupid, I can't even begin with you. I have never in my entire life used this word, Frank, so I'm losing my word virginity here with this, but believe me when I say that you are a Grade A, justifiable, nincompoop," Mikey says.

"I've never even heard that word used," Frank replies.

"Neither have I, but you deserved it. There's no other word, and also it has the word poop in it so it's already an amusing word to begin with."

"Well, you are definitely the younger brother, I can see that much."

"No you can't, you can't see me at all. But believe me, the next time I do see you, you had better believe that I am going to kick you in the fucking face."

"How are you gonna reach?"

"Frank, you're like, what, about two feet tall? I think I'll manage," Mikey replies.

"I am literally the same height as your boyfriend," Frank replies, rolling his eyes at his phone.

"That is not true. Pete is like a millimeter taller than you," Mikey says.

"Oh my god, seriously? He even brags about that millimeter to you?"

"Well, he talks about it a lot, he's really proud of the fact that he's taller than you," Mikey says. "It's so cute. Like he-"

"I didn't ask for details!" Frank says, interrupting before he pukes.

"Well fine, but we still need to talk about how much of an ass you are. You know how unfair it is to Gerard that you know things he doesn't? You and I both know that you're going to marry him, okay? But Gerard does not know that, so you expecting to hear him say it is not fair to him. Gerard has not been given the same information that you have been given. So, what that means is you've got to treat this situation like you don't know the outcome. Otherwise, you're cheating. You're being a bitch to him because you're holding him to a standard that he doesn't know exists. I get that you like him, I don't know why, but I've accepted the fact that you do, so try to remember that even if you know what's going to happen, you've got to pretend for his and your own sake that you are just as clueless about the future as he is."

"That doesn't change the fact that right now, Gerard would probably dump me at the end of the year," Frank says. "How can I date someone if I know that he's going to ditch me for a fresher model at his new school?"

"He doesn't know any better, dude, you can't expect him to look that far in advance yet. You know what your future has in store for you, but Gerard is almost completely clueless. Do not allow yourself to hold him to an unrealistic standard when he is not holding you to one."

"Listen dude, I'll deal with this all later, right now I just want to take my mind off of things, okay?"

"And how do you plan on doing that?"

"It's none of your business, Mikey," Frank says.

'But I-"

Frank hangs up before Mikey has a chance to reprimand him any further. From what he gathered of what Mikey had said, Gerard is in his room grumbling to himself about Frank, and refusing to talk to anyone about it. Even Mikey, who should be hired on the spot as a police interrogator, can't get anything out of him.

Mikey's name glares at him from his phone again, but Frank rejects the call before the ringtone even starts. He doesn't need to deal with Mikey now. He doesn't want to deal with anybody. He wants to just not think at all. Frank turns his phone off, and immediately regrets it, but he doesn't even consider turning it back on. He doesn't need to deal with anyone, besides, he's likely to tell someone to do something extremely unsafe involving a cactus, and he doesn't even think a telemarketer deserves that.