You Are My Sunshine | ✔

The Game of Life - Part Six

      It's 5:12pm Matthew wants to tell Stella to stop. Stop because Alexis isn't dead. Stop because she was right. Stop because there are no words left to say. The doors are opening again and he hears a gasp.

"No."

      Matthew wants to look up, he wants to shake that person by their shoulders, yell, tell them that yes, yes it's too late but he can't do any of that. Matthew is numb, his hands trembling, and the only thing keeping him to reality was Abigail's feet, beating that same rhythm on the linoleum floor in a place that smelt like death.

He opens his mouth, he closes it again. He hears Louis move but he can't focus.

He takes a breath and swallow's hard.

"I can't remember the last thing I said to Alexis."

     I'm sitting outside the hospital. I stare at the glass doors, staring at Matthew, at my friends. My eyes are burning and I let a tear escape. I want to run. Run that way when you feel like you're not going to stop and it makes you feel excited and scared at the same time, and you're screaming and laughing at the same time and nothing in the world can stop you.

--- START FLASHBACK ---

"Hey Matthew, do you want to go for a run?"

"Sure, Alexis."

"Really?"

"I don't see why not."

"RACE YOU!"

"ALEXIS!"

A loud laugh, tearing the sky apart.

"Alexis, get back here, this is not fair!"

Laughs travel through the air and the whole world shines with joy.

"Oh my god Alexis!"

"I won! I won, I won, I won!"

"Yes Alexis, but only because you cheated."

"No..."

"Yes."

"What, nooooo..."

A laugh escapes.

"I told you soooooo."

--- END FLASHBACK ---

      Matthew's words hang in the air like a brick. It's 5:13pm and the room is full of unsaid words and half spoken dreams. Matthew wants to sleep. So he could forget who he was and everything about him. So he could lose himself. There's an empty seat to his left and Matthew keeps glancing at it like Alexis would be there any minute. Like she was only at the bathroom. Like she would be back.

"Oh Matthew," Halley says.

Matthew doesn't want anyone to "oh Matthew" because that's pity and he doesn't need any of that. He looks determinedly at Tyler sitting on the floor in front of him, willing his eyes not to look at that empty seat.

Abigail's feet keep drumming.

Thump thump.

Matthew squeezes his eyes shut because his head is pounding with each thump of Abigail's feet and all he wants is to turn back time, wishing he had just replied to that message, pushed his pride and catcalls away to reply, say "love you" that once more, maybe even called, hear her laughing voice. He breathes out slowly through his teeth, thinking about what he would do if he could turn back time. What he would do again. What he would do if he could relive today.

What he would do if Alexis was still alive.

"Didn't you talk to her this morning?" Jessy asks.

Matthew opens his eyes slowly, the harsh lighting of the room reminding him of the situation. He shook his head, "no, I had to leave early for soccer."

"Oh..."

Matthew thinks back to the last thing he said to Alexis.

--- START FLASHBACK ---

"Will I see you tomorrow?" she asks quietly.

I nod and grab my books from the table by the door. "After soccer," I promise.

My hand is on the door handle when Alexis' voice stops me.

"Matthew?"

I turn, "Yeah?"

"Can I have a hug before you go?'

I look at Alexis, surprised. She never asks for hugs. I put my books on the table again, "Sure."

She stares at me until I take a step forwards and wrap my arms around her. I feel her stiffen slightly and I pull away.

"What's wrong?" I ask, worried.

She smiles at me, her eyes laughing. She leans in close, her lips touching my ear, her breath a butterfly and she whispers, "Your hair tastes like strawberries."

I pull away, one hand raising to my hair, "Alexis!"

She laughs aoud, a beautiful sound, and shakes her head. I grin at her one more time, pick up my books and open the door. Alexis is still laughing as she sees me off.

I turn around one more time, looking at Alexis standing in the doorway, the light from her living room a halo around her head, and wave.

She cups her hands around her mouth and calls, "I bet you didn't feel me lick your ear!"

I twist around, "Alexis! I swear to god, I will never let you near me again!"

As I walk into the night, I swear her laugh follows me home.

--- END FLASHBACK ---

      I'm watching Abigail. I'm watching Hunter. I'm watching Halley. I'm watching Stella. I'm watching Tyler.

I'm watching Matthew.

There are tears running down my face because it feels like my universe and everything in it is slowly pulling apart.

And there's nothing I can do to stop it.

Matthew's staring at the door when someone walks through the doors.

      It's 5:15pm.

Matthew doesn't hear Stella's gasp, Jessy's muttered curse or Tyler's yelling.

Matthew doesn't hear, doesn't see. He's thinking of Alexis – her smile, her laugh, her eyes.

Her eyes.

Her dark brown eyes which reflected every emotion.

Those eyes who were staring at him right now from the doorway.

Alexis' eyes. 

  A/N: Hai guys! Yes yes, I know, it has been a really long time since I uploaded. But in my defense, I've had writer's block. I hate writer's block, I mean, my own imaginary friend won't even talk to me? What kind of excuse is that?  Anyways, excuses aside, I'm backkkkkkk!  **sarcastic cheer** But really, I know it's been a long time but I haven't given up on this story yet. I'm currently working on another story, I might be uploading that once the holidays start sooooo yAY!!! I have A LOT of assignments due in the next week or so but I'll try upload again next week. But then again, I said that last time... I'll see you when I see you, let's say that.