You Are My Sunshine | ✔

The Game Of Life - Part Eight

        I hear Tyler say my name and I know I need to get out of here. Fast. I push off the wall, steadying myself with the water dispenser. I head into a random corridor and rest my head on the wall.

I can't look at them anymore.

Especially not Matthew.

--- START FLASHBACK ---

"Alexis?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you crying?"

"...no."

"Alexis..."

"Stop."

"Come here."

"Sorry..."

"Shhhh child. What happened?"

"Tyler is mad at me."

"Why?"

"I dunno."

"Do you hate him?"

"...yes."

"Do you want me to kill him?"

"No, don't."

"Okay."

"Hey Matthew..."

"Yes, Angel?"

"Can you sing the song?"

"Only if you help."

"You are my sunshine..."

--- END FLASHBACK ---

     Tyler looks defeated. They all do.

Matthew's eyes are reflecting pain but when I look at them, all I can see is hope.

He still thinks Alexis is alive.

"Tyler," I say, standing, "stop."

He's got to stop. Tyler has to stop before Matthew breaks.

Before Matthew breaks down.

Thump thump.

It's a brutal reminder that Alexis isn't here.

"Stop," I say, my voice is dropping, "just stop."

I can't take it anymore and I sit down on the hard plastic chair, bringing my knees up to my chest.

"Stop," I whisper once more and my head drops and rests on my knees.

"Stella?"

"Stella??"

I disregard them all and breathe through my mouth, trying to ignore the harsh disinfectant smell, the cascade of memories, and cries of joy, pain and fear.

There's a hand on my shoulder and there's someone saying something.

I'm standing, looking around the room, looking for Alexis. Halley is standing behind me, Hunter is looking worried and Louis is swallowing hard.

"I'm going home."

I'm walking to the carpark, words spinning through my head, tears stinging my eyes.

I get in my car and rest my head on the steering wheel.

Behind me, a door opens and closes.

"Go away," I say, voice shaking.

"Nah," Halley says from the passenger seat. Hunter agrees from the back seat.

     It's 5:22pm and I'm driving away from the hospital.

I'm driving away from Lexi.

We sit in silence, Halley, Hunter and I, lost in our thoughts. I don't even notice the tears on my face until a tissue is pressed into my hands.

When I get to my exit of the highway, I ignore it and keep on driving. I get to Alexis' house and I let myself in through the back door – just like every day.

The door to her room was closed because it was Alexis' house and nothing was a secret; when I open it, a rush of memories tumble out.

There's her wall of posters, photos strung up on a string – hung across the ceiling like circus bunting. Her bed is messy and unmade, her window half open, a torch sitting on the windowsill along with her display of action figurines. I can smell her perfume – or maybe it was deodorant – a lingering smell of baby powder and books.

I'm sitting on the floor, leaning on the door, my arms wrapped around my knees. Everywhere I look, I see Alexis.

She was coming back; she had to be coming back; there was too much left unfinished here.

She had to.

--- START FLASHBACK ---

Falling. Falling. Falling. Green grass, used tissues, freshly turned dirt.

We're the last ones here.

"Stella?"

Lexi. Her eyes are sad, she's holding my hand.

"It'll be okay," she says.

"No it won't," my voice cracking, Lexi pressing a tissue into my hand. I wipe my eyes.

She's moving, she's kneeling in front of me, she has determination in her eyes, "Stella, listen to me. I know it hurts. I know it hurts bad," she swallows hard, "but it gets better. Seriously Stella, it's going to seem like nothing is going to heal, nothing is working and you're alone but you're not. You've got us; Halley and I. We're gonna make sure you're okay."

I try to smile, "Thanks Lexa."

Lexi tilts her head to one side, looking at me suspiciously, "It'll be okay, Stella. It's not going to hurt forever."

She's sitting next to me again, crossing her legs, one hand resting over mine.

I'm staring at the freshly dug graves and my heart is hurting, it's hurting so bad, I just want to rip it out.

"Shhh... just let it out Stella. It'll make you feel better."

I'm sobbing, I'm crying, I'm weeping.

"It'll be okay," she repeats.

"I... I miss them so... so much," I choke out.

"I know."

We sit there, Lexi and I, for I don't know how long. By the time my tears disappear, the sun is sinking and the stars are appearing.

Lexi. Standing, brushing grass from her pants. Standing by the grave.

Hey Mum... hi Dad... Stella here. I'm with Lexi right now. We're going to go home now. Where ever that is. The sun is setting and the sky is going purple. If you were here, you'll love it.

The sky, the rapidly sinking sun and the first signs of stars.

I miss you a lot. I think Lexi misses you too. Whilst I lost a family, Lexi lost a home. I think... I think... I don't know what I think anymore. I think I'm gonna miss you more then I think.

"You ready?"

"Ready."

Floating. Floating. Floatting. Lexi and I turn and leave, the shadows of the graves chasing us home.

--- END FLASHBACK --- 

A/N: Yay, update! I hope you all like this update, one of my good friends suggested having Lola's POV next so here we go! Summer holidays just started but I'm not sure if that means I'll be updating more or updating less... It really is debatable...  But then again, Christmas is coming up soon so I might be busy for a bit too. 

Well, just in case I don't update then, Merry Christmas! 

**inserts Christmassy emojis**