life's rain // bruno mars

chapter twenty-eight

chapter twenty-eight

Part Seven

Growing up in Los Angeles, I was practically born on the beach. There was a cliff I loved to climb on top of, barefooted, loving the feel of the solidity of the rocks underneath me. I would walk to the edge of the cliff, the wind sending my ponytail flying. When I stood at the edge, everything felt right and sure and the whole world at peace. The ocean was meant to be angry and blue and wild and the moon was meant to tug and pull at it. The surfers still surfed and the ships still went on their way. And then the next day, everything would still be the same.

As I looked into the sunlight streaming in Bruno's room from his window, I imagined myself on the cliff's edge, but this time the ships and the surfers could not join the waters because it was too fierce. But I would.

I would leap from the cliff, no matter how fierce the ocean, and the waves would not drown me.

Even if I did drown, in the words of Faber, at least I'd die knowing I was headed for the shore.

I wanted to stay here forever, wrapped in Bruno's safe and strong arms. But I couldn't. I slowly peeled Bruno's arms from me. He stirred but didn't wake. I found a pen and small receipt from McDonald's and scribbled an address on it. I pulled on one of his shirts I found in the closet and a pair of boxers. The smell of spring still had that overwhelming effect on me. When I exited the closet, done dressing, a low voice made me jump. “And where do you think you're going?”

Bruno was watching me with a hand on his cheek, his dark brown eyes amused, a half-smile playing on his lips. I went over and kissed them, without hesitation and without remorse. His hands went to the back of my neck, gently pulling me closer. I withdrew. “I have something to take care of.”

“All right,” he breathed, as if he already knew what I was talking about.

“You're all I've ever wanted, Peter,” I said, the words just rolling off my lips. He made a face at his real name, and I laughed, kissing him again. I couldn't stop. Nor did I want to. But I had to.  “I have to go.”

He held on lightly to the tips of my fingers. “Can we meet somewhere later? Just me and you?”

“Actually,” I said with a smile, a thrill of excitement running through me. “Look on your dresser.”

“Why are you leaving right now, Lena?”

I suddenly felt it, the emptiness that ebbed my borders. He saw the look in my eyes and gave me a sad smile in return. “Meet me there, okay?” I said, turning away.

“Okay,” he whispered. “I love you, Lena.”

I faced him, smiling faintly, loving the way those words sounded. “I love you too, Bruno. Everyday. See you soon.”

He closed his eyes momentarily, but before he had the chance to open them, I was already gone.