Kathang Isip

Almost

She thought no one's capable of loving her.

She thought no one will ever come and make her feel wanted.

Then I came and made her felt everything.

We almost happened.

Almost, but not quite.

It all started when I first met her that night. I caught her staring at the full moon, sad, lonely and expressionless yet so beautiful. From that very moment, I had the urge to know her, especially she's my neighbor.

At a broad daylight, I didn't get the chance to see her, I always see her at night, at their balcony, staring into to nothingness.

Their balcony is close to ours, it's the fences that only separate us, and I could climb the fence if I want to, but that would be rude and ungentlemanly, baka isipin nya pang rapist ako.

I started to stay at our balcony too at night. She's staring at the sky and I'm staring at her. It sounded like I'm a creep, but she's the kind of view you wouldn't want to take your eyes off.

"Hey, stranger, am I not capable of being loved?"

For the first time, I got the chance to hear her sweet voice, after how many nights I stayed at our balcony, doing nothing but to stare at her.

"Ako ba kinakausap mo?" I asked.

She turn her gaze at me, and god, she's breathtaking. Hindi ko na tuloy alam kung alin sa kanila yung buwan, she's as beautiful as the full moon or even more beautiful.

"Hindi, yung buwan yung kausap ko, don't mind me" she said with a faint smile.

Silence engulfs the air once again.

"Who told you that? That you weren't capable of being loved?" I asked.

"Ako ba yung kinakausap mo?" she asked and she smiled while staring at the full moon.

"I'm actually talking to the moon" I said.

Dead silence.

How will I make our conversation going? God, she's the first one who talked and I would really want to talk to her.

"Me, I think no one's capable of loving me. No one tried, no one even dared" she said with a faint smile again.

I stared at her. Why would she think of that? She's beautiful and she seems so nice. Who wouldn't love her?

"Your family loves you" I said.

"I don't think so" she said.

My forehead creased. Hindi ko sya maintindihan, hindi talaga.

Natahimik ulit kami.

"I'm curious. How does it feel to love and to be love back? Better yet how does it feel to be in love?" she asked while staring at me.

Honestly, I don't know. I never had a girlfriend, hindi ko sya masagot.

She smiled.