Kathang Isip

We can't be

"Mahal mo ako, mahal kita. Pero bakit hindi pa rin?"

I smiled at him, a sad one.

"We are one of the rarest case of having a relationship wherein love was never enough"

"Kalokohan!"

I laughed at the same time i cried.

"This--us in a relationship. Yun yung kalokohan"

~~~~~

I left him, i ran away from him.

We happened, unexpectedly. Typical boy meets girl, we fell in love and then naging kami. Having a relationship with him was magical, everything felt right and everything was perfect. Was, felt--past tense. Maayos ang lahat before, not until i gave a damn about the people around us.

With him, wala akong pake sa mga taong nakapaligid sa amin. It's as if he's the sun and I'm the earth who's only revolving around him, he's the center of my entire galaxy. I didn't know na may iba pang planets sa loob ng galaxy.

I started giving a damn about the people around us when my friends noticed that I'm too focused on him to the point na hindi ko alam, may nasasaktan na pala ako--may nasasaktan na pala kami.

At first, hindi ko pinansin yung taong nasasaktan daw namin, i don't care. I became more selfish, masyado akong naging possessive kahit na alam kong hindi naman nya ako kayang lokohin.

Not until one day...

"I'm in love with your boyfriend"

At first akala ko niloloko nya lang ako, pero hindi eh. Tinawanan ko na lang sya, maybe she's drunk but it doesn't erase the fact that I'm threatened by her.

Following days after her confession, she tried to kill herself. She tried to kill herself because she's head over heels in love with my boyfriend which happens to be her best friend. Damn my life!

She told me how she's madly and deeply in love with her best friend, to the point, she can't accept that he will end up with me.

I got mad at her, but then naintindihan ko sya. It hurts to understand her, but i did.

Between a guy and girl that are best of friends, one of them is secretly in love with the other.

That's her case with my boyfriend.

Pinairal ko yung selfishness. I didn't tell him about his best friend's feelings. I thought everything will be the same again. After what happened nagulo lang kami.

As a Best friend you should stay on each other's side. Nabawasan yung oras nya sa akin eh, mas pinagtuunan nya ng pansin yung best friend nya kaysa sa girlfriend nya, na ako.

No matter how hard i tried to understand wala hindi ko talaga maintindihan eh. Hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit ako nagseselos!

Lumalabo na ang lahat.

Ayoko naman silang paglayuin, hindi ako ganon ka-immature para gawin yun. But something inside me makes me want to do it.

"May bagong movie akong gustong panoorin, samahan mo ako"

"Kailan ba?"

"Today"

Sa tingin pa lang nya alam ko ng hindi sya pwede. Anong klaseng relationship ba ang meron kami? Ako yung girlfriend tapos ako pa yung nanlilimos ng oras para lang makasama yung boyfriend ko na inuuna yung best friend nya!

"It's fine, may paperwork din naman ako. I was just hoping that i could spend time with you"

I walk away from him, hoping that he'll stop me--hoping that he will choose me over his best friend. Unfortunately he did not.