Poetry Diaries 1: Nepenthe

22. But Never Love

The problem was that
You were too smart
And he couldn't charm
His way into your heart

The problem was that
You were too beautiful
And he couldn't deal with
His insecurities at deserving you

The problem was that
You were too real
And he couldn't bullshit you
Into mindless belief that he was true

The problem was that
You were too much of a woman
And he was barely a boy in mind
Who wasn't enough for the complex you

The problem was that
He was immature enough
To blame you for all
The things he put you through

The problem was that
He was afraid to tell you
That he blamed you for
What he lacked in himself

The problem was that
You believed him when
He told you all of his lies
And tried to change for him

The problem was that
You started to think
Before you spoke
Worried if you sounded too smart

The problem was that
You faked enthusiasm
At the over-the-top
Lavish gifts he still bought you

The problem was that
You blamed your genetics
For his insecurities
And tried to hide your beauty

The problem was that
You doubted all his words
But made him think
You believed every single one of them

The problem was that
You made yourself into a doormat
For him who couldn't handle you
And now you didn't know what to do

The problem was that
You still didn't know
The difference between love
And territorial control

The problem was that
You loved him
For the narcissistic bastard
That he had always been

And he only ever saw you
As a means to an end
A territory to mark
A goal to acquire and keep

But never love.

//But Never Love
Eririn