Selling My Soul to His Royal Nerdiness.

Selling My Soul to His Royal Nerdiness. (28)

Anna Taylor

It scared me, a bit, when I realized how true my words were. Though they'd come out in a question, it was fairly obvious that I had to do it.

Silas was supposed to be protecting Noah, and I knew for a fact that he couldn't do that if he was dating me.

I had to do this for Noah. No matter how much my heart ached at the thought.

Mikayla nodded seriously just before the elevator doors opened. She stood, flexing her fingers, and walked over to the box. "Good. I wish you luck."

She paused before leaving, turning even though that huge box was blocking her vision. "You are coming to my party, right?"

I nodded, then realized that she couldn't see me. Cleared my throat, hoping that it wouldn't crack as my heart slammed against my ribs. "I wouldn't miss it."

"Wonderful." I could hear her sad smile. "If you ever need to talk, I'll be wherever Noah is." 

And then she walked down the hallway, opposite the way that I would need to go to get to Silas.

I took a deep breath, steeling myself before pivoting on my heel to stride toward Silas's room. Long, firm strides that wouldn't give me time to chicken out and run away, to think about regrets and unspoken love and secrets.

And before I knew it, I was opening the door without knocking, walking in and shutting it hard behind me. I thought about locking myself in, briefly, before imagining Principal Malda's face if I did. 

Silas looked up from a book, a smirk on his face, no doubt, planning on saying something smart. It faded the minute he got a good look at me.

Faster than I could blink, he was on his feet, taking my shoulders in his hands and looking at me anxiously.

"What? What's wrong?"

Staring into his face, I felt a surge of irrarational anger. Towards him, for tricking me. Towards myself, for falling for it so easily. He sang one song and I was putty in his hands.

I grabbed onto that anger and hung on for dear life.

Because if it wasn't anger, it was tears. And tears were meant for dark, empty rooms where no one could hear and offer you sympathy that you didn't want.

"Were you ever going to tell me?" I asked, stepping out of his grasp.

"What?" He looked afraid, for a moment, before it was smoothed over. "What are you talking about?"

"You know exactly what I'm talking about." I hissed. "Don't you dare lie to me, Silas--I've had enough of people lying to me."

He opened his mouth, but nothing comes out. My face is probably bright red, but I can't bring myself to care.

"You know, I believed in you. I believed that you were actually a good person, that behind all that player bravado you could actually--that I sould actually lov--" Tears filled my eyes, even as he looked like he'd been slapped.

"Anna--" He reached for me again, curling fingers around my forearm. I yanked it away, stepping back again.

It's not fair of me. I know it's not fair, but this is the easiest way to see that Noah's safe. That Silas won't get distracted, and I won't have to come home one day and find...I swallowed hard.

"Just...don't, Silas. Please don't. It's over."

I turned, without looking back to see the look on his face, and I ran.

*

As fate would have it, I did't get very far without slamming into someone. Someone who squeaked and fell backwards, papers flying everywhere.

"Wow," Noah said, going to straighten glasses that aren't there. "That's some stellar coordination you've got there. Maybe you should..." he trailed off, instantly stiffening. "Annabel? What's wrong?" 

I could have tried to speak, but I'd only most likely get blubbering out. Instead, I gripped his forearms and hauled him up, pressing my face into his chest.

"Anna...?" He slowly hugged me while I concentrated on the burning pressure behind my eyes.

I could not cry here. Not in the middle of an empty school corridor, with a nerdy prince who I just gave up possibly everything for. I was aware that I was shaking, and that Noah had to be completely alarmed, but all I could do was just stand there and try to pull myself together. 

Apparently got that, because he just stood there, his arms around me. He didn't say anything, didn't try and ask what was wrong.

And that, for me, was okay.

*

The drive home was silent.

Noah thanked Tim, our chaffuer, while I hiked my bag onto my shoulder and walked into the house, every facial muscle concentrated on appearing normal. I was almost there. Almost to my room, where I could let it all out.

But first...

I detoured to the kitchen, sure that Noah was watching me and not caring. Chance was apparently out, probably with Teagen, and I bet that Kolbie was with Macey. I wasn't sure where West was, but at this point I truly did not care.

My mom kept the wine in a place where she thought it was hidden; the very top shelf, behind a row of collectable lunchboxes (my dad went through a phase). I reached behind there and pulled out a small bottle of gin, carefully replacing it then jumping down.

Noah watched all of this warily. "What are you doing?"

I held up the bottle, tilting my head. "Surely you've heard of getting drunk, Noah?"

He blinked. I couldn't help but shake my head at his obvious innocence. I'd invite him but...I was sure, in a matter of minutes, I was going to be a big blubbering mess of post-break up girl.

"But," he said, obviously concerned.

"I'll see you later." I brushed past him, going up the stairs. "Feel free to tell my parents--I won't hold it against you." 

I walked into my bedroom and shut the door before I could hear his reply.

*

Woah! Long time no update, I know, but hopefully I'll start being constant with this one again. Vote, comment, love!