Finding You

Chapter ~~8

        NAVIA

            September passed and October brought in the beginning of winter’s chill. Claude and I still talked and he still asked me, every chance he got, if I was ready. And every time I walked away. I became familiar with the institute, and my classes got harder. I was having the most trouble in French. I just couldn’t remember what all the words meant.

            I was in French class when Claude came up to me. I watched as he walked over to me. I noticed that his long curly hair was gone. He must have just cut his hair. It was short and the ends of his hair were just starting to curl. Wow, Claude looks even more attractive. I like this new look on Claude.

            “Hello Claude” I said once he was near.

            “Hello Navia” his rich voice trailed around me. I felt a tickle in my stomach. Claude sat on the empty desk to my left.

            The professor immediately started the class. I was taking as many notes as I could, and trying to memorize at the same time. Near the end of the class, I gave up and just listened. I looked over to Claude. He was staring at me, his golden yellow eyes gentle and admiring. How long has he been looking at me? At first I was caught by surprise but it soon faded and warmth took its place. I winked at him. Claude looked startled but soon smiled obviously happy I was showing signs of my attraction. I studied him, and began to day dream about him.

            I dreamed that Claude and I were lying under a tree studying. It was mid-day and the sun was high in the sky. We were under a cherry blossom tree in full bloom. There were flowers raining down all around us. Claude would ask me a question in French and for every answer I got right he would give me a kiss. It was perfect.

            I was interrupted from my daydream when something in my head snapped me back to the present. Claude was leaning in to me. Claude was about to kiss me. Quickly I moved my head, and instead of kissing my lips he kissed my cheek. His lips felt good against my cheek and a part of me deep inside regretted moving.

            “Damn” he whispered against my cheek “Deflected” he gave my cheek another quick kiss and leaned back. “Oh Navia, how you tease me with your beauty” he sighed. I smiled at him, an awkward and unsure smile. I had no idea what to say so I hoped that my smile could say what I couldn’t. The room was silent. So I looked around and to my shock the room was utterly empty. Crap I zoned out for the rest for class.

            “I’ve got to go” I said as I rose from my seat. Claude was out of his seat and standing just as soon as I was. He stepped close to me and my pulse sped up.

            “I want to kiss you.” At first I was shocked that he would just come out and say that. But then I remembered this was Claude. “Let me kiss you” he said in a husky tempting voice. Slowly he leaned down, and I made no move. I turned my head when he was just an inch from my lips. There was something inside me that was hesitant and holding me back. He pulled back, and looked me in the eyes. The hurt there was clear and something inside my chest tightened. I’m a terrible person. I feel so bad about what I’m doing to Claude. I will stop doing this. “Why will you not kiss me?” his voice was quiet and pained. “Do you not like me?” he looked away from me.

            “No Claude I do” I put my hands on his cheeks and made him look at me. “I do like you.” I smiled at him.

            “Then why? You should want to kiss me.”

            “Right now I just need your friendship.” I paused and looked in his eyes. Once I said friends his eyes fell. It was obvious that he didn’t want a friendship. “Can we just be friends and see if it leads to something else?”