The Taste Of Loneliness

Chapter 13

It had been nearly a month since their official first date. And Negan couldn't believe she still wanted to put up with him. Always inviting him over to have simple dates. Whether it was dinner, movie or just sex. Which there was alot of that. Not being ready to let her in his house yet. And neither of them brought that up. Which was a good thing. Most people knew at school that they were seeing each other to say the least. But it want anything serious to him. But to her it was everything.

The end of the first quarter of school was nearing an end which meant numerous amounts of paperwork and computer work for them. And Negan absolutely hated it, and took it out on her at her apartment. Thankfully she had numerous scarves and makeup to cover the bite marks.

"Alright kids two more laps then take a ten. Then start the basketball drills!" He shouted to them blowing the whistle to signal it. Hands crossed over his chest as he glanced out the windows seeing an ambulance whizzing by. Through the parking lot of the school. The students stopped to watch as well before he waved his hand at them.

"Back to the running.. It's none of your business.. " He grumbled walking to the door that lead to the hallway now. Wondering what was going on, seeing some teachers going down to the English hallway. Seeing another coach pass he stopped them.

"What the fucks going on? " he muttered.

"It's Miss Stevens, she collapsed during a lecture.. "

Before he'd even finished the sentence Negan was sprinting down the hallways to her classroom. His eyes widening with worry as he saw the paramedics enter the room. Shoving the other teachers and students out of the way. Swallowing hard as he saw Rachel sitting in the floor beside her desk holding her stomach. Clearly in alot of pain by the way she groaned and the tears streaming down her cheeks.

"What the fuck happened? " He made his way into the room looking at her with worry as the paramedics quickly helped her onto stretcher.

"Could possibly be appendicitis. We won't know--" The paramedic stopped midsentence as Rachel stood, the bright red blood running down her thighs. "This is ambo forty two. Possible miscarriage, alert county hospital. "

Negan felt himself tremble some, his hands clenched into fists at his sides as he saw Rachel so vulnerable. And he couldn't do anything. But as the paramedic spoke about what could possibly be wrong with her he became numb. She couldn't be pregnant. She would have told him. Right?

"It's gonna be okay.. " He finally mumbled as he walked along the stretcher with them, his expression blank as they loaded her into the ambulance.

"I'll follow on my bike. " He uttered receiving a nod from the medic. As soon as the ambulance doors slammed shut he jogged over to his parked Harley. Turning the key and revving the engine before speeding off behind the ambulance. His jaw clenched as he drove, riding the ambulances back side the entire way. Not wanting them to be out of his sight. Not allowing any other thought other than Rachel to enter his mind.
Bitter tears stinging his eyes unfortunately as he drove. Having forgotten his helmet.
As the ambulance pulled into the emergency entrance he parked jumping off as he ran inside pushing aside anyone who tried to stop him.

"That's my fucking girl friend so fucking help me.. " He growled, nurses and others immediately moving from his path. Seeing a doctor immediately come to the examination room where she was lying on the bed. A nurse wheeling in the ultrasound machine as they attached her to an IV and various other wires. His heart pounding remembering Lucille's last days. Being buried beneath mounds of life saving wires.

"Alright let's see what we have here.. " The doctor ran the wand over her abdomen, and his expression fell. Shaking his head as he looked to the nurse. "Prep her for surgery. We need to get this bleeding stopped or we lose the mother too.. Call Dr Mcbride for fetal extraction. "
The doctor looked over his shoulder at Negan frowning slightly "Sir you need to go to the waiting room. We'll update you as soon as possible.. "
He just nodded slowly watching helplessly as they wheeled the bed down the hall to another door. He and Rachel sharing a look of utter fear and anxiety. He just stood there not moving for a moment before he finally asked a nurse.

"Uh.. Where's the fucking waiting room..? " He muttered lowly feeling utterly shocked.

"Down the hall and to the left sir. " She uttered softly pointing as he began walking. Slowly walking down the all too familiar hallway, remembering painfully waiting in the same area when Lucille had her treatments and surgeries. The plastic chairs cold and unwelcoming. The smell of stale coffee from the vending machine. His phone buzzing in his pocket but he ignored it for now. Not wanting to talk to anyone.

Rachel was pregnant and he didn't know. Did she even know?

-----------------------------------------------------------
"Sir? " A nurse stepped into the waiting area, her scrubs slightly dirty. It had been several hours since they'd arrived at the hospital.

"Yes.. Yes where the fuck is she? " He stood up looking at the nurse, frowning at the smeared blood on her scrubs.

"Follow me. " The nurse motioned with her hand, walking down the white hallway. His heart pounding in his ears as he walked behind her.

"The doctor will explain things sir. " She uttered opening the door of the patient room. Seeing Rachel on the bed with all the wires and slightly paled skin made him want to turn and leave. She looked exactly like Lucille. But he needed to forget about the past. Nodding slowly as he walked in seeing the doctor checking the bandages on her abdomen. He glanced over at Negan now with a solemn expression.

"I'm sorry for this sir. The fetus was five weeks. The placenta ruptured and caused the bleeding. We repaired everything, she will be able to conceive again. But given time. She won't be able to have intercourse for at least a month. " The doctor covered her with the blanket, checking her vitals before leaving quietly.

Negan stood at the end of the hospital bed, staring down at Rachel in shock. She had been pregnant. With his child. Swallowing hard he pulled a chair to be beside her bed, sitting down as he took her hand. Rubbing his thumb over the back of it. Knowing she needed someone to be with her now. And he wasn't going to leave her. Not now. He wouldn't abandon her like he did Lucille.

It seemed like an eternity before he felt her hand moving in his. Raising an eyebrow as he looked at her. Waiting for her to get her bearings as she blinked several times, fighting the grogginess. Finally her eyes found his as fresh tears welled up in her hazel eyes.

"I'm sorry. I.. I was going to tell you.. Today actually.. But.. I'm sorry.. "

"Don't be sorry.. I can't fucking have kids.. It's my fault.. " He hung his head now as he squeezed her hand. Knowing he'd never have a child of his own.