The Taste Of Loneliness

Chapter 17

"I'm fucking going out.. " Negan muttered softly as he grabbed his keys from the counter. Having put his shoes and leather jacket on already. Just needing some space from her to get his head around things.

"Wait Negan.. " Rachel sighed heavily walking over to him and giving him a pleading expression.
"I haven't seen him in years. We've kept in touch but I haven't seen him. There's nothing to worr-.. "

"I said I'm fucking going out so that's what I'm fucking doing.. " He grunted shaking his head as he left the apartment, practically knocking over the pizza delivery guy. Hunching his shoulders as he shoved his hands in his pockets. Taking the stairs to help relieve some of the anger he had building up within him. Walking briskly from the apartment building and to his parked motorcycle. Feeling a sense of relief hearing the engine roaring to life as he revved it before speeding off.

The cold wind whipping against his skin as he flew down the highway. Just wanting to get away. Get his thoughts together. Why did it seem like everything in his life was so coldly ripped away from him? First Lucille now Rachel. Hell did he even have a chance with Rachel anymore? Why would she want to be with a pathetic high school gym teacher when she could be with the other guy?

Negan found himself at his favorite bar. His watering hole. Parking along side some other bikes out front before climbing off. Running a hand over his winded face before walking in. The warm air and loud music settling him slightly. Several men from around the pool tables shouted and waved at him as he walked over to the bar and took a seat. Sighing heavily as he motioned for the bartender.

"Give me a fucking glass of Jack. No ice. " He huffed pulling out his wallet and laying a twenty down on the bar.
Things had went from bad to worse with him and Rachel. How could he have thought that she was his second chance? Not with the competition now. Shaking his head as he gulped down the whiskey and nodded for another one. The music and talk around him not phasing him at all. It just seemed to make time blur as he drank away the sorrows and anger. Willing away all the emotions now for the Rachel and any one else. He didn't need anyone. Half the time he was on his own anyways. Happy endings were just a myth.

Two glasses turned to four then six, finally stopping at eight. The bartender graciously calling him a cab. Stumbling out to it with a drunken smirk. Knowing when he got back to the apartment he'd give Rachel and earful about their relationship. Leaning back into the seat of the cab as he mumbled off the address. The street lights blurring as they whizzed by, the cab driver talking absentmindedly but nothing registered. Not even the pick up truck running a red light and ramming directly into the right side of the cab.

The sirens wailing and various voices talking as Negan faded in and out of consciousness. Was that blood? He lifted his right hand in front of his face. Something red and sticky was covering his hand and sleeve. And something smelled like it was burning. The air was thick and smokey as he coughed, feeling his chest burning too. Feeling someone touching his neck before he blacked out once more.

Negan absolutely hated hospitals. From his own father being in multiple times for drunken fights, to Lucille having her chemotherapy treatment and most recently Rachel recovering from her miscarriage. The white walls and plastic chairs made the entire place seem far too eerie. It seemed impossible to get comfortable anywhere. Even the bathrooms were sheer white and perfect. Perfect.
Nothing was perfect. So why should the hospitals be perfect? Yeah sick people were there and cleanliness kept others from getting sick. But if they world was perfect, people wouldn't get sick or hurt in the first place.

Negan also hated the lights. How blinding bright they were. Even at night it seemed the hospital was aglow and rest seemed inevitable.
Especially now. With a low groan emitting from his throat, his eyes opened slowly then quickly shut from the blinding lights on above him. Their luminescent humming the only sound other than the monitors beeping. Gritting his teeth before he slowly opened his eyes again. Squinting them until they adjusted to the light. What the hell was he doing in a hospital bed?
Huffing he lifted his head slightly glancing down at himself. Wearing one of those god awful gowns. Wires sticking from his arm. Numerous bandages and a soft cast encased his right arm. Huffing he then felt the burning in his chest. Slamming a fist into the bed as he muttered under his breath. "Son of a bitch.. "

Things slowly began coming back to him. He'd gone to a bar, gotten drunk then left. But he didn't drive right? Some fear crept in at the worrisome thoughts of a DUI on his record now.
But before he let his mind wander anymore there was a knock on the door and the doctor came inside. A small smile on his face as he stopped at the end of the bed. Laying the clipboard down.

"Good to see you awake Negan. I'm Doctor smith. I'm afraid you were in a car accident. You have some broken ribs, a fractured wrist, and some mild lacerations. But other than that you're fine. You're lucky, they said the pick up truck ran right into the side you were on. I guess you've got a guardian angel.. Now let me have a look at some things and you can get some more rest.. " The doctor moved over to wash his hands and dawn gloves before moving over to inspect the cuts and bruises. Checking his vitals as well. Negan sighed, chuckling faintly at the doctors words about a guardian angel.
"I don't fucking believe in that shit doctor. Trust me.. " He huffed feeling the doctors cold hands prodding his sides.
"Well not everyone does. Oh and there is a young woman, Rachel Stevens, waiting outside. Are you up for a visitor?" Doctor Smith questioned deeming Negans injuries alright for now, as he jotted some things down on the clipboard.
Negan frowned slightly but then nodded once before rubbing his face.

Leaning back as he waited. Hearing the door open and soft footsteps come over to the bed. "I'm fine.. I'm fine.. Stop freaking out.. I know you are.. "