The Taste Of Loneliness

Chapter 18

As Negan stormed out of the apartment leaving her and the pizza delivery guy in slight shock, Rachel sighed. Passing the money to him and taking the food and setting it on the counter. All the while Sammy had been quiet out of the way. Seeing as they were alone now he spoke up.

"That guy seems like a dick. Automatically thinks you're cheating when I show up? " Sammy scoffed walking over and grabbing a slice of pizza. Rachel shook her head as she sat down.

"He has a bad temper. He's a really nice guy and we've been through, some shit together. He's just has some baggage. Remember what it's like? " She frowned slightly knowing Sammy and her brother had been near inseparable. It showing as he stiffened and set the pizza down.

"Look Rach, that wasn't.. Isn't the same. Don't compare me to mister storm off like a damned child. Okay? "
He sighed shaking his head as he picked up the pizza and began walking to the door. "I'm staying at my folks place, until I get settled. Maybe find myself an apartment or something. I'll see you around. " With that he let himself out. Leaving Rachel alone to her thoughts.

Feeling utterly ridiculous she settled on eating alone. Pouring herself a glass of wine and watching some reruns on television. Texting Negan once but knew he probably needed to cool off. He was probably sitting at some bar drinking away. But she tried not to worry for now.

Until her cell phone ringing woke her up at four a.m. Groggily answering as she questioned the sanity of whoever was calling.

"Yes is this Miss Rachel Stevens? " The authoritative voice and serious tone quickly woke her up as she sat up in bed.

"Yes this is she.. " Her response was quick and short, already standing up from bed as she felt that bad feeling in the pit of her stomach.

"I'm sorry to inform you but Negan has been in a car accident. He is being transported to county general right now." She felt her heart sink and begin racing at the same time. Hurrying to pull on her jeans and sneakers as she stayed on the line.

"O-Okay.. I'll.. I'll be there.. " With that she hung up and slid on a sweater, grabbed her purse then rushed from the apartment. Fighting the tears that threatened to spill over as she got into her car and sped down the road towards town. Why hadn't she stopped him earlier? Why did she let him leave like that? What if that was last time she would see him alive and well? What if those were the last words they'd have said to each other?
All those thoughts swirled angrily through her tormented mind as she flew into the emergency room parking lot. Her eyes wide and fearful as she went inside and up to the desk.

"Negan.. Negan Costello.. " She uttered his name as she heard more sirens wailing outside. Nurses and doctors gathering at the door waiting. Paramedics rushing inside with a man on a stretcher.

"Male driver. Ran a red light and hit a cab, wasn't wearing a seatbelt possible trauma to the head and abdomen. We found bottles in the floorboard.. " Their hurried voices rushed past her to an enclosed room.

"He's going to be in room seven forty five. They have him in X-ray right now. You can have a seat in the waiting area and I'll let the doctor know to keep you posted. "

"Thank you.. " She uttered to the nurse making her way to the stairwell quickly going up to the seventh floor. Finding the eerily empty waiting area and sitting down. The clock ticking away on the white wall as she waited for what seemed like an eternity.
A male doctor approaching her after an hour, he extending his hand for a proper introduction.

"Rachel Stevens? I'm Doctor Smith. Negan is doing fine. He's still unconscious but that is due to the medicines we gave him for pain. He was in the back seat of a cab when it was hit. He's got some broken ribs, a fractured wrist and some minor cuts and bruises. I'd like to keep him overnight for observation. When he wakes up I'll see if he's up for visitors." He nodded before walking off to tend to other matters. She then sat back down covering her face with her hands as some tears finally escaped. And a soft laugh. Of course. She knew Negan, a little car accident wouldn't do him in. He was tough. They both were. And here she was. Waiting again.

She had drifted off to sleep when she felt the doctor shaking her shoulder.
"Miss Stevens? Negan is awake and ready to see you. "

"Oh. Oh. Thank you. " She smiled tiredly as she hurried past him to the room. Taking a deep breath before she walked in. Sighing as she saw him lying in the bed, walking over quietly.

"I'm fine. I'm fine. Stop freaking out. I know you are.. " His gruff voice broke the silence first. Causing her to laugh faintly as she went to stand beside the bed. Reaching down and carefully taking his left hand.

"Me freaking out? I would never.. " She flashed a small smile looking over his battered body, fleeting images of her brothers body came to mind. Shaking them from her mind as she cleared her throat. "I'm glad you're okay.. I was so worried. You stormed out and then this happens.. I was.. God I was afraid that was the last time I'd ever see you.. " She rattled off as some more tears rolled down her cheeks unfortunately. Making him grunt and move his left arm out so she could sit down beside him.

"I'm fucking fine. Doc said it was actually fucking good that I was passed out for it. I don't think a fucking doctor has ever said, good thing you were drunk. " He chuckled lowly, wincing slightly at the burning in his chest. Causing her to frown as she sat down putting a hand on his chest carefully.

"Oh Negan I'm sorry.. Sammy is nothing to me now okay? He's just an old friend. The only thing we have in common is my brother. That's why we stay in touch. To keep my brothers memory alive.. Okay?. I'm sorry. " She sighed stroking his cheek as she leaned in pressing a gentle kiss to it. Making him chuckle yet again.

"Rachel. Calm the fuck down. I'm fine.  It's fucking fine. I'm fucking fine that you've got another fucking option because I'm a fucking piss poor option. If you want him go get him. He probably makes more fucking money than me. " He shrugged leaning his head back as he shut his eyes. She huffed shaking her head quickly as she thought over what to say.

"Negan I love you. Not Sammy. Sammy is like my brother now. Yeah we had a relationship years ago but not now. He just got back from a tour and wanted to see me. I'm one of his only friends who understoods him. Understands the pains of loss. " She uttered hoping he'd understand that part at least. As their eyes met she knew he understood it now. Especially as he huffed and had that look. The look that said I'm a fucking idiot. He nodded as he leaned in pressing his lips firmly against hers.

"I love you too. "