Lost feelings

Breakdown

Nathan

The memories, they're coming back. And i can't do anything about it. They where horrifying. I ran out the café and to the car. But had a breakdown before i could get to it. I kneeled on the ground sobbing and i wanted to be alone with my thoughts. Like i always dealt with all my problems. I run away. But this time. They caught me. I could'nt so anything but just cry as their voices echo through my head.

Oh nathan out precious little boy.
Happy birthday.
This is for the best.
We must send you to a safe place. Promise that you will come back to us.
We love you.

These voices and memories come running back to torture me. The voice that used to calm me down is gone. Its just me and no one else. I tried to forget but it all just comes back. I try to rise back from the ashes of my past but the memories just prevented me. I was so traumatized by what happened that i chose not to face it. I chose to run away from it. I forgot about it until this point in time, then everything just came rushing back in. I felt a hand on my shoulder. "Hey hey hey..." A familiar voice says in a soothing tone. "Its okay, its okay, we're here for you." The voice says following with a hug. Xander's voice was calming enough to give me the stregnth to stand up again. "Are you okay?" Jianne asks. "Yeah, i'm fine now." I reply. "We'll give you time to recover and think, but for the meantime us three will discuss what i just saw." Jianne says while running a hand through his hair. "You want to join Alex?" Jianne asks. I didn't want him to leave but i guess he needs to. "No. Not today." Xander says looking at me with a warm smile. "Okay, just join us when you two are okay." Jianne said. "Uhh guys i think we should head back to the campus." Macey said while looking up. "Its starting to rain." We hop back into the car and i just leaned against the window. Thinking.

Will i be ever to forget the things in my past?
Will i ever open up to them?
When will these stop?

These questions just keep repeating in my head for what seemed like an eternity. We arrive back at the campus and we all walk back to our dorms.

I was always exhausted after crying so i was tired when we got back to our dorm. I lay down on my uncomfortable bed facing down on my pillow. Trying not to cry but lose. I just wanted to be alone. I just wanted to cry. With my memory and my past made the most torturous hell for me. Horrible clips from my past can be brought back with just 1 word. I just wished that i would have died with them. I just wish that i was never like this. I never wanted this "blessing.".

These thoughts go on in my mind. Repeating. Just repeating. For what felt like an eternity.

I hear a sigh. I felt my bed shift a little. A hand makes its way up and down my back in a comforting way.

"What happened back there?" A voice asks. "I don't want to talk about it." I reply with my face in the pillow. "Let it all out." The voice says in a soft tone. "You shouldn't be putting so much pressure on yourself." He says while softly rubbing my back. "You don't get it." I reply while sitting up, not daring to stare at those green beauties. "You don't get it..." Xander said. I look at him confused. He wipes a tear if my cheeks before he speaks. "If you remember your parents that were hunted down, you're not alone..." I look at him but he's looking down. "I'm just a run away. We were caught in the middle of the hunt, we hid well for a period of time until that unfaithful day..." He says trying to hold back the emotions that build up in his mind. A sigh escapes his mouth. "...They found us and they took away my parents and my brother but I managed to escape..." He says as tears are rolling down his face. "...I came across an orphanage, i wasn't adopted until i was twelve years old. And i learned how to control my enhancement." He said before he bursted into tears. At this point i was calm enough to comfort him. We may have not known eachother for a long time but i feel like he's been there for me since the start. But we still have a long way to go. I put my arm around him. "Im sorry for that." I say sincerely. "I never knew..." I follow. "Its okay. I got over it a long time ago." Xander says wiping a tear of his face. "Can we get something to eat now?" He says with a smirk, his eyes shining with the tears that passed. We go out and eat at a diner.

After we eat we get back to our dorm. We were extremely tired. We do our nightly routines. I lay down on Xander's bed with him. "What are you doing?" He chuckles with a bright red tint on his cheeks. "I'm sleeping with you tonight." I say non chalantly. "Okay. But i must warn you i roll around when i sleep." He says laughing. "Its okay i can deal with it. I say putting my around him making him blush. "Okay~~~." He says. "Goodnight." He says. "Goodnig-." I was cut off by a quick kiss on my cheek that left me frozen. By the time i moved again he was fast asleep. I kissed his forehead and went to sleep knowing that this day was refreshing.