it's time to start a new life

Chapter One

Katniss is slowly recovering, since Peeta came with the Primroses. I am very glad that Peeta came back because I know Katniss loves him, even though she isn't quite sure about that herself yet. Katniss is finally moving on with her life, Peeta dragged her out of her depression. But that might has taken a lot from him. They still live in their own houses, and I know better than anyone how much Katniss wants to ask him if he could come back to her again. The thing is, Peeta hasn't shown for a few days. No more bread is baked, no more paintings are painted. It worries me, but there's nothing I can do. Katniss has to go over there, the sooner the better. From what I have seen that blond boy hasn't eaten for a while. It is a very quick breakdown, like he felt the responsibility to take care of Katniss. Now Katniss is okay and Peeta has just nothing left. I wish I could do something.

Katniss is on her way to Peeta's house, finally.. She first went to Haymitch's house. If I was able to sigh, I would've sighed now. So Katniss went to Haymitch, to ask him if he had seen Peeta. "I am worried about him, he dissapeared. but he also could be just avoiding me." Haymitch just looked at her like she said something comepletely idiot before he said: "sweetheart, did you hear what you just said? Are we talking about the same Peeta here? In what paralel universe would Peeta actually be avoiding you." The look Katniss gave him, was a thing they shared. The only other one Katniss used these looks on were her dad I think. I like how she build up a relationship with him like that. "Haymitch, I am serious." "I am too, sweetheart," he replied while leading her to the door. "And now get to his house, drag him to your b-" "HAYMITCH! Shut up." Did Katniss blush, really? "Just kidding, sweerheart. Don't forget that we agreed to keep him alive."
Now there she stands, in front of Peeta's door. Her knock isn't answered. But the door is open, she can just push it open. I have seen inside, but for Katniss it is a total shock. The curtains are closed so it's a bit dark but with the light coming trough the door you can see the broken plates and paint trown everywhere around. There is a horrible smell of something rotten. "Peeta," Katniss whispers. And then louder she repeats: "Peeta!" No reaction.
I know where he is, but I can't show Katniss. A loud bump comes from the living room and Katniss runs to the sound. It was Peeta, he fell of the couch. "Oh my god, Peeta." Carefully Katniss helps him sit and then holds him tight. The boy cries on her shoulder. "Oh my god, Peeta what have you done to yourself?" she whispers. "There's nothing left Katniss, no one left who cares for me. Nothing left."
She cares, I know she does. "What ab-," Katniss starts, but she isn't able to finish her sentence because now they're both crying. "What about me, Peeta? I care." "Why? I strangled you," he asks, not done yet. But Katniss is not gonna let him finish: "I am sorry for that Peeta, the reason they hijacked you, was to break me. I am sorry. I love you. I am sorry it took me so long to figure out. I just got stuck." They were kissing by then.

Katniss took Peeta home and after three days of him recovering they moved his stuff and cleaned his house so someone else could use it now.
I know life is going to get better in district twelve, I just know. I realize I never introduced my self, I just thought you might figure it yourself. It's not like I can see in the future, I am just here noticing them and not being noticed myself. I don't know where I am, I believe in such a thing as afterlife but that's not here. I don't know and maybe I will never know, it's not like there is still a task for me to fullfill. It's not like I can move things, and it's not like I want a revenge for my death. I am not saying it was fair, but maybe it was purpose. Do you believe in purpose? I haven't decided yet. Don't act confused, you of all people know about my death. I was so proud I could do something, Katniss once gave me a chance and I wanted to do something. I think I'm okay with the fact that I died trying to do something, trying to save those helpless children. After that, it was dark for a while and once I realized I was dead I could see them, hear them. From a distance I was watching and caring but there was nothing else I could do, there still isn't. It hurts, you know, watching them. I don't think Katniss realizes I am here, but Buttercup does. Katniss yelled at him, and that yelling brought me here. "She is dead, you stupid cat!" I heard the scream in the dark, and that was my navigating point. It took me more time to find my mom. Katniss hasn't visited her since she arrived here, in district twelve.

My mom hasn't settled yet. She helped the starting of hospital after hospital, currently living in district seven. I truly hope she will finally end up in twelve.. We'll see, yes we will..

Peeta uses the basement as an atelier, all his painting are stored there. Katniss watches them a lot, for instance when Peeta is at the Mellark bakery he reopened a week ago. They reopened it together, and I like they did that. I can still enjoy looking at his beautiful flower cookies. But back to the paintings, sometimes when Peeta is at the bakery Katniss can stare at his paintings for hours. She never touches them, she keeps a distance as if they could bite her or something. I was watching Peeta and his flower cookies when I suddenly heard my name. Katniss did touch the paintings this time, and behind Rue and other creepy arena images she found another painting. A much lighter one, with a sun shining on the meadow and in the middle there was girl, with blond hair in two braids. Me. Peeta had painted me, in a meadow full of Primroses. It has a place in the living room now, Katniss didn't even ask Peeta about it, she hang it in the livingroom immediatly, next to the fire place. I love the painting, and I wish I could show you because it is truly beautiful. When Peeta mentioned it as when he came home, she just thanked him and told him over and over how beautiful it was. I am glad Katniss can look at the painting without bursting into tears, I have faith for their future.

If I could giggle, I would have giggled. It was just extremely cute, when Peeta went to Haymitch this morning to ask him something. He walked in and said, I quote: "Haymitch, can I ask Katniss marry me?" Haymitch nods, just nods. And in the corner of his eye I could see tears, even though they never left his eye they were there. A smile spreads acros Peeta's face. You know, I think in a balance of the luck a person has in their live. Don't you think our starcrossed lovers finally deserve some happiness?
"Well, what are you still doing here? Go propose to her, for real this time. This time because you want it instead of as an act of survival. Maybe you can even make a real baby, I know you want that." Peeta was too happy to get annoyed by Haymitch comments. Haymitch laughed.

Remember what I said about that theory of the luck that was balanced?

Suddenly Haymitch laughs become coughs.

Forget the theory.

His whole body starts to shake.

I don't think that theory makes any sense, not anymore.

Haymitch.

Heartattack.

Hospital.