My Big Secret//joesugg

Chapter Two

It looks like I wasn't ready for anything. Because the worst words I could ever hear just came out the doctor's mouth and I wasn't ready. All I could think about was, how am I going to tell Joe? My friends? My FAMILY? The simple answer to that question was...

I wasn't going to.

I stepped out the Doctor's room, trying so hard to hold back the tears. Just until I got to the car. It was hard. But I did it. I unlocked the car door and stepped inside, left foot followed by my right. I shut the door and placed my hands on the wheel. I slumped my head down against my hand and faced the floor. I shut my eyes and tried to remember all the good things that has happened in my life. Nothing. All I could think about was what I just heard. Tears started streaming down my face and dripping onto the floor. I probably sat there for a good ten minutes trying to get all the tears out of my system so I didn't cry back home. After that, I drove back home and went for a nap. Everything that happened within that hour had drained me so much, I could barely keep my eyes open. 

I woke up to the sound of the key turning in the door. Joe was home. This is what I had been dreading. He called for me but I didn't answer. I pretended I was still asleep when he came into our bedroom to find me. I layed there curled up in a ball with the duvet wrapped around me like I was a tortoise with it's shell. He came and sat next to me kissing me on the cheek. He lay beside me and cuddled me. It felt amazing, I was finally loved. But then it all came rushing back and I pulled away. 

It was 4PM and I awoke from my sleep. Joe was sat downstairs vlogging on his camera (as usual). All seemed right in the world. I walked into the kitchen and made myself a glass of water. I sat beside Joe on the sofa and tried not to get in the vlog. I don't even think his viewers even know what I look like, let alone my own name. I never really liked all the attention to be on me, even for the smallest moment. I hated it actually. I'm glad that Joe appreciates that decision and doesn't force me, but I know that he wants people to see his 'gorgeous' girlfriend. I don't think i've even been on his instagram or snapchat. I've never been a fan of social media sites. It sets my Panic Attacks into full blown power mode. Joe placed down his vlogging camera and looked at me.

"What's wrong? You have been acting off with me for a while now. I need to know. I can't handle seeing you this upset. Please tell me. You know I will be there every step of the way if it comes down to that. I love you Ava and I always will" he says while having the smallest smile on his face.

"I went to the doctors today and they said that. They said. That. I..."