That week flew by. Skyler tried to call, leaving countless voice mail and texts but as soon as his name showed I deleted them. I didn't want to speak to him, not yet.
Summer school ended yesterday. I passed with a low A. It was the end of June and next week was Grace's birthday. We usually combined our parties making it the week between our dates meet. We decided July 18 would be our night out clubbing; she was trying to get a small group of people to join.
I haven't seen Blake since our first talk at Book On The Wall. His green eyes stayed in my memories and his voice saying my name rang in my head.
I heard the door bell ring expecting Grace with a tube of oreo icecream and a bag full of DVD's. Racing towards the front I swung the door open but my smile faded.
Skyler stood leaning against the frame. The same way he did last time I saw him in person; the night before he cheated.
"I had to see you," he spoke before I could. Predicting my moves he held the door with his foot. "We need to talk."
My jaw clenched as I moved out of the way. My parents were at work and Jake was at his friends. I didn't like being home alone ever since the break in but somehow I felt more unsafe with Skyler here.
He made himself at home, sitting on my couch and propping his feet on the table in front of him, knowing I hated that.
I sat on the chair facing him and folding my arms over my chest. "How long have you been cheating?"
He didn't speak for a moment, "Four months."
My heart hit my rib cage like a wild tiger trapped behind bars. My voice was more confident than expected, "You could have been a man about it," he looked at me. "Told me you wanted to see different people. That I wasn't making you happy. That you wanted more. Instead you decided to take the easy way out, to sneak around and try to hide it from me so you don't break my heart." I felt myself talking. I didn't know the voice and I didn't know where these words were coming from. "And you were doing such a great job!" I paused. He had a shocked face on, not seeing this angry side of me. "Until your little side show picked up the wrong cell phone."
Okay, now I didnt know where these words were coming from, they just spilt out of me. Inside I just wanted to break down and cry. I wanted to beg him to tell me what I did wrong. I gave everything to him. I gave myself to him.
Sometime through out my speech his legs dropped off the table. His eyes were big and his mouth hung open a little.
I stood, "but don't worry about me. I'm actually going places." He stood as well. I could tell he was shaken up. "Don't forget to wear condoms. Don't want to ruin the only goods you have or bring a little you into this world, now do we?" I opened the door and watched him walk past me.
He turned on the porch, "I came back to apologize and to ask for forgiveness. I wanted to get another chance."
"Should have started it with that." I closed the door in his face.
Emotions crashed down on me as if the confidence was a shield and it was ripped away letting everything hit me like a waterfall.
I made sure I locked the door before slidding down to the wooden floors. I sobbed into my hands.
--
Grace came over shortly. I told her everything. From my speech to feeling as if someone else spoke for me. I didn't care if she thought I was crazy. I could tell her anything.
"Well," she breathed out after I finished, "for one, I'm glad hes gone. He was such a jerk. And two, thank heavens you finally found a voice! I just wish I was here to see the look on his face!"
