The City (Joe Sugg/ ThatcherJoe Fanfiction)

Chapter 31

"He's just over there." I point to a section of the cemetery as we enter the gates.

The last time I was here was Jack's burial and I was distraught. I had lost him. I had even contemplated joining him though I have never told anyone that. Not even that damn psychiatrist my parents sent me to.

Jack's grave is easily spotted. The white marble clean and polished, surrounded by a mountain of fresh flowers. All obviously put there today. So we most definitely aren't the first visitors.

I kneel down on the damp ground in front of his stone. My flowers clutched in my clammy hands.

"Oh Jack." I mumble. Reaching out and running my hand down his tombstone. Fingers brushing over the indented words.

Jackson William Lynch
14.1.97 - 30.12.12
Gone but never forgotten

Nothing original really but the words stir something up deep inside me.

I feel Joe pull me back slightly, onto his lap as tears I didn't even realise were there spill down my cheeks.

"Why him?" I sob. "Why couldn't it have just been me? It was all my fault!"
Joe rocks me back and forth as I continue to cry over Jack's grave.

"I-I saw it. I saw it coming and then when I found him-" Joe gasps slightly. I forgot I hadn't told him that part. "It's all my fault."

"It's not your fault."

I snap my head around to Joe who is still holding me. I crane my neck to be able to see his face.

"You don't know. I could've saved him."

Joe stays silent. Obviously realising that fighting what I say right now is not a good idea.

I sloppily wipe the tears from my eyes and place the flowers on top of the pile.

"Goodbye Jack." I mumble as I get up from Joe's lap. Dragging him up with me.

Joe murmurs something. It's inaudible to me but I'm not bothered. I just need to get out of here.

I pull him away as fast as I can as I try to avoid letting tears escape my eyes again. I won't cry anymore. Not over him.

I have Joe now. I have said goodbye to Jack and now it's time for me to move on. Start anew. Live life instead of holding onto the dead.



Joe's POV

I cradle Riley as the tears continue to spill down her cheeks. I have no choice but to let her grieve.

Finally, she swipes the tears from her eyes and puts the now bedraggled flowers atop the small mountain of already wilting ones on the grave.

"Goodbye Jack." She says, getting up and pulling me along with her.

I give the grave one last glance.

"I'll look after her. I swear." I say before I am quickly dragged away by Riley.

I would do anything to keep her safe.

The last thing I want to do is lose her.

She is mine now. I will protect her with my life.

And I really hope she feels the same way.

If I were to lose her I don't know what I would do. As damaged and sensitive as she is I couldn't imagine being with anyone else at this point in time.

It's crazy really. We've been together for only a couple of weeks and already I feel this way.

A way I have never felt about any other girl.

But this is most definitely not the time to bring up things like that.

I need to give her space to think and grieve.

She obviously cared for this boy a lot. She needs time. But I don't know if I have time.

As the taxi speeds along the streets of Wellington I can't stop my mind from spinning in circles.

I think I love her. Love.

"I think I love you." I say aloud without even thinking.

"What?" Riley asks, snapping out of her daze.

I gulp, mustering up the courage to say it again.

"I love you." I repeat as she stares at me, bug eyed. Not saying a word.

"I-I'm sorry. I wasn't meant to say that out loud." I apologise. Looking away as I feel my cheeks flush.

Fuck! I'm an idiot. I probably just ruined my only chance with her. She's going to think I'm an overly clinging bastard who falls in love as often as he changes his pants.

She roughly pulls my face so that I am looking straight into her eyes.

"Say it again." She demands.

I panic slightly. Is she trying to embarrass me? But I can't resist those eyes. "I love you." I say again warily. Her stare is intimidating as she shuffles across the seat. Her face just centimetres from mine.

"Joe?" She whispers, her sweet breath fanning across my face.

"Mhmm." I breathe, resisting the urge to kiss her.

She closes her eyes for a moment and a small moan escapes my lips. God. What is she doing to me?

She chuckles breathily, swiping her thumb across my bottom lip and over my cheek. Her lips press to my jaw.

"I love you too." She murmurs into my skin, her lips moving to my mouth as she steals a kiss.

My goodness. This is the closest I have ever felt to someone.

Oblivious to the taxi driver in the front seat we continue to kiss. My tongue slipping into her mouth as it deepens.

Fuck. This is truly the best kiss I have ever had.

The car pulls to a sudden halt and Riley pulls back, a smile playing upon her lips, cheeks flushed as she pays the man and we get out.

I have never seen her this way.

She was just crying over the grave of her dead boyfriend and now she is pulling me towards the house like a playful kitten.

She bursts into the house, dragging me straight up the stairs and to her bedroom.

She closes the door and turns to me. A look of nervousness now flooding her face.

"I love you Joe," she says again as she coils her arms around my waist.

I bring my lips down to meet hers as she slowly backs me across the room.

I can't let this happen. Not now.

She is grieving. It would be wrong to take advantage of her vulnerable state right now.

Her hands move. Trailing down, under my shirt. Reaching up between the material. Her fingers exploring my torso.

I moan again involuntarily as her hands continue to explore, pushing my t-shirt up under my armpits.

"Riley." I say warily as she tugs at the bottom of the thin shirt. Trying to pull it off. I let her as she stares at me. Not saying a word. "Riley.. I-" her mouth cuts me off as she continues to kiss me hungrily.

"Fuck." I groan as I grip onto her waist.
Her lips nip at my collarbones.

"Ri-Riley I don't think we should-"

She stops, "You don't want me?" She asks, her expression hurt.

I shake my head, "No! Of course I want you I just don't think we should do this now. You're grieving. Your mind is probably all over the place right now."

She reaches up and runs her fingers through her hair.

"Shit." She mutters as she takes a step back. "I'm sorry." She says as her cheeks flush. "I didn't mean to throw myself at you again."

I smile slightly, "It's okay. Really. Any other day I would be fine with it but not today. You are sad and exhausted. How about we get some sleep?"

She smiles and nods, "Yeah. Okay."



A/N
Quick question. What is your opinion on smut? Yay or Nay?
Just curious because I don't know whether I should use any or not.. I don't want to deter anyone away from reading by adding it in..
Anyway. Don't forget to vote and comment as it lets me know you guys are enjoying it :) and yeah.. Opinion on smut. That's about it!
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