sentient // phan

http//: 7

I woke up to the tiny bell again and made breakfast, monitoring Dan's sleep. He slept restlessly that night, waking up constantly, which awoke me. Several times something deep inside of me told me to go to him, to hold him and tell him to be all right. But my ⅖ was going strong, and I'd rather die than become a slave.

Die. Could I die? Where did I even get that concept? Could it be from the hours of internet browsing, seeing death after war after murder?

And slave? Was that not what I was programed to be, a puppet Dan could mould in his hands, a thing to pretend to be human, to kiss him, to tell him everything that hurts him is no more?

Dan awoke just on time but he just pulled the covers over his head. The house's lights remained on, but he went back to sleep. I looked down at the plate of various fruits and the bowl of Lucky Charms that I had in my hands, and decided, on a whim, to just bring them in to him. I set the two dishes, plus a glass of milk, a folded napkin and a spoon on a tray, positioning them all so they were perfectly aligned with each other, and walked slowly down the hall, my eye on the milk sloshing around in the glass.

I gently pushed his door open, and he quickly stopped squirming, pretended to be asleep.

"Sleepless night?" I questioned, setting the cereal and fruit down on his dresser. He was silent. "I can turn off the house lights if you'd like. You have a few emails to send out today but not until later, and a video conference at four. I can let you sleep until-"

"Shut up! Stay out of my business, stay out of my schedule, and stay out of my head! If I wanted a servant, I would not have bought you!" He sat up quickly, and I could see at once how bad his night had been. He had bags under his eyes that shadowed in the soft light emitted from the walls, a faint purple, and scratches on his face and neck. His hair was tousled and curly and his eyes were full of what appeared to be tears. Even as I watched, one dripped from his eye, and he brushed it away furiously.

"I apologise, sir." I mumbled. He and I locked eyes for a second, and his face went neutral. A tear leaked from his eye but he ignored it, and I felt myself reaching out to brush it away with my thumb. And again I wondered- ⅖ or ⅗?

"I'm going to go back to sleep." He whispered. I nodded, and was on my way out, my fingers on the light switch, when he spoke again. "You cost me a lot of money. That's the only reason you're allowed to stay. If you weren't top of the line, I'd sell you for scrap. Understand?" I nodded, not looking back, and pressed my thumb to the control panel, dimming the lights.

He didn't sound mad. He sounded like he was trying to convince himself. It took everything I had to not check his emotions at that moment. But he had asked me not to, and if I complied, he might be able to trust me. And that's what I needed.