When Everything Disappears || Harry Styles || A.U.

Chapter Thirteen

Harry's P.O.V.

"Are you okay?!" I said, as I burst through Cassie's bedroom door.

"Yeah I'm fine. I just remembered." She said. Wait, remembered? Remembered what?

"What'd you remember?" I asked.

"How I died." She replied, on the verge of tears.

"Oh." I said, as my smart reply. Note the sarcasm.

She buried her head in her hands, and I heard sobs coming from her.

"Cassie, it's okay. Do you want to talk about it?"

"No it's not Harry!" She shouted angrily, with tears running down her face.

"You don't know anything! Anything I've been through! You don't understand!" She shouted.

"Then try to make me understand." I said boldly.

"Have you ever felt so angry, that you were sad too?" Cassie asked me.

"Umm, not really..." I gave an honest answer. She sighed.

"When did you last feel that way?" I asked.

"Just a little bit before I 'died', actually. And more like 'upset' rather that just 'angry' have you ever felt that way? Felt like no one in this world likes you. Felt like you're worthless? Ever loved anybody that makes fun of you constantly? Who acts so nice and funny when it's just you and him? But when his friends come into the picture, you're nothing to him. You feel so sad. You don't even see the point for trying anymore, you're numb. You don't care about anything... But him, just him, only him. Have you ever just loved someone so much that it hurts? Loved someone who couldn't give two shits about you? Is it just me? Am I stupid? I can't help who I fall in love with, no one can.

Have you ever felt lonely? Have you ever felt like, your alone in a crowded room? Have you ever just wanted to scream at the top at your lungs, 'I'm right here, I can hear everything you're saying about me.' But no, you just sit there. Let them laugh at you, that's all you ever do is just take it. It gets to the point where you feel so disgusted about yourself, you shut everyone out. You don't talk to anyone for days. 'Whats wrong?' They say. It's hard to answer the question 'what's wrong' when nothing's right. That feeling in your stomach when you hear the girls behind your back laughing. That feeling when you're in gym class and everyone laughs at you because you can't do 'everything.' Whether it's because your fat, have a mental problem, have any kind of disorder, they don't care. No one cares. It's the worst feeling on earth, to know no one even cares. No one cares about the outcome there is to all the shit they make you put up with, they don't care. The only thing they care about is making someone feel so bad about themselves that they don't even want to live anymore, don't want to breath anymore. That's the feeling of being numb. Guess what? I'm numb. No one cares though. No one ever will. So thanks. Thanks for making me feel so bad about myself. I really do appreciate it. Thanks." She said.

What does she mean?

"What?" I asked her.

"You heard me. You are the person. The person that made me go through hell-"

"But, that wasn't me-"

"Harry! I don't care if it was you or not! In my fucked up head, it was you! You made me go through so much! Even after what happened with my..." She trailed off. I knew what she was thinking about. Her dad.

"You hurt me so much. You only cared about yourself, I don't even know why I loved you so much." Her eyes widened. She gasped as she realized what she had said.

I don't even know why I loved you so much.

I don't even know why I loved you so much.

I don't even know why I loved you so much.

I don't even know why I loved you so much.

Thats the only thing that was going through my head at the moment.

"Loved?"

"Yes! You dumbass! Don't you get it?! I never stood up to you! Ever! I let you push me around! If it made you happy to bully me, then it was fine! You didn't even stop to consider the consequences of what the stuff you put me threw were! Harry I counted up every single little name you called me, and when I got home, I would cut into my fucking skin! I would repeat every little mean name you called me in my head, and cry! Harry I fucking love you! Why can't you understand?! You ruined everything! I just loved you, even though you treated me like complete shit. I love you." She finished.

I didn't reply. I forcefully connected my lips with hers. She was shocked at first, but then she started kissing back. I deepened the kiss, and pushed her against the wall. I pulled my lips from hers, and started kissing and sucking roughly on her neck. I heard her let out a moan. I smirked to myself.

"I love you so much, Harry." She said out of breath.

I looked up at her, and backed away. She frowned at my actions.

I gently picked up her hand from her side, and held it in mine.

"I love you too, Cassie." And with that I reattached my lips to hers.

*