The words I meant to say

03- My Only Wish

She waited. She waited at the very table, where she had argued with Axel this morning. She waited for someone, anyone. The cafeteria was deserted, only a few lights illuminated the entire hall. The only sound was the faint crickets of the insects in the nearby pond. She played with the lighter in her hands, watching the fire emerge and disappear. Each time she would count, how many times it took for someone, anyone, to come. 

Her hopes weren’t high, Axel’s words still ringing in her mind. She sighed, and took in a deep breath. The fresh smell of strawberry icing filled her lungs, enlightening her sense of hunger. Her stomach grumbled in reply, she clenched the fists, resisting the urge to cry. She never wanted to cry, ever again. Everything was turning out wrong. Why did things even go like this. Was it her fault, that no one liked her. She twirled the lighters with her fingers, her eyes a solemn brown. She traced words in the air as she waited. It had already been an hour, but she refused to give up. 

Time passed, rather dreadfully. Soon the icing begun to falter and the cake was turning warm. Louise gave a final sigh. She lighted the blue candles, bringing a warm yellow glow to the already-dim cafeteria. Little strawberries lined the cake, and a lovely icing coated it pink. She hummed a slow tune, refusing to sing. A familiar tune, that she had heard fifteen times before. Wax dripped from the candles, making time pass even slower. And she decided to sing the final part of the universal song. 

“Happy birthday to you...” 

Louise couldn’t hold it in anymore, she had to cry. She didn’t even bother blowing the candles out. She faced the facts, she was alone on her birthday. Alone on her birthday. The fact hurt her like an open wound. It was an open wound. The tears fell onto the cake, her sorrow swallowed her whole. She cringed as she hugged her knees, wondering if she should even make a wish. She never even believed in wishes, she felt that the very idea of someone looking out for you was absurd. Maybe it was, after all, she had no one now. She clasped her hands, wondering if she really should. 

She looked behind her. She could see only darkness. The connections she once thought she had were now gone, the very bonds were destroyed. She shut her eyes, squeezing out the tears. 

What should she wish for? A friend? Someone she could depend on? 

There was a long silence, the wax on the candles almost completely melted by the fire. Her conflicting ideas came to a consensus. In a soft tone she mumbled, “I wish for Axel to come back.” Her voice was horse, she opened her eyes and looked at the already warm cake. She blew out the candles in an elegant sweep, her eyes red and teary. She held the cake knife and slid it down the cake, cutting herself a small portion. She nibbled as she insulted herself, wondering how stupid her actions were. 

Wishes would never come true, she told herself. 

Then her phone vibrated. 

Axel stared at the phone in his hands, he was seated at the oak table in the dorm. Casper had already fallen asleep, allowing him to use the table freely. He pondered about her birthday, he pondered about her. Should he had said that to her, could it be fixed? He could only feel regret for his actions, there was no pride in it at all. He went to the message function of his phone, typing down a bland message. 

He didn’t have the courage to click ‘Send’. He thought of what would happen, but he was usually wrong about these things. He shut his eyes and wondered, he shut his eyes and thought of Louise. 

She shut her eyes and thought of Axel, before making that very wish. 

And there was a long silence before the decision was made. 

Axel pressed ‘Send’. 

Louise’s phone vibrated. She saw the message ‘Happy Birthday’ on the message bubble, and she saw that it was from...

Axel sighed. He placed his phone down and went to bed, thinking of Louise. 

Louise held the phone in her hands, thinking of Axel. 

Maybe her wish did come true?