The words I meant to say

06- A pinch of salt

Allison stared at the little device, which beeped in a soft tone to her. She didn’t know how to react to this, she felt confused. Her auburn hair which was usually elegant and straight was now frizzed and wet from her cold sweat. She buried her face into the pillow she was hugging as she sobbed. The pillow was half her size, and she hugged it so tightly, if it were a person, it would die. At that moment, she wanted to die. She stared at her stomach, eyes twitching in horror. She never expected it, then again, no one ever does. 

Her performance was in an hour, she had to cancel it. But then again, she had so much to do. Being the vice chairwoman had its bad points too, and she had that flute recital. She turned her head to face a black case, which leaned quietly against the wall. She couldn’t possibly cancel it, the school had invited what they called ‘prestigious guests’, but in her dictionary they were rich people. Nothing more. But she couldn’t just ditch it, if she did, her life in school would be ruined. She panicked, she was at a loss. Frantically, she picked up her phone to call him for the tenth time. She shut her eyes and prayed as she heard the familiar hum of the dial tone. He has to pick up, she thought to herself. She felt like her heart was about to burst out of its ribcage, she felt as if she was going to die from waiting. He picked up. 

“Argh, what do you want this time.” The man on the other end sounded irritated, his voice hoarse and weak. 

“Oh finally, you picked up.” Allison could only thank him for answering, she could only fill him with her gratitude. She almost forgot about the topic at hand, the one that got her so nervous. He just had this impeccable ability to charm her into forgetting all her troubles. No Allison, she told herself once more. This time, she would get things done. “Remember that time when we...well something went wrong. The test says I’m positive and I don’t know what-” 

He hung up. Allison was left to hear her own desperate voice as she yelled to the phone, as if her shouting would make it come back to life, would make him care. She would love to go see him in person, but he lived an hour’s drive away from her. Her recital was in fifty minutes, she had to make a choice. Whether to risk it and visit him, or to go for the recital. 

She went to her vanity mirror, opening the drawer to take out an assortment of makeup products. She had to make sure she looked the part, she had to make herself look pretty. Though her blue eyes didn’t need any improvement, she was determined to make them stand out even more. She applied more blush to make her pale skin glow, and hastily put on her school uniform. She had to go for the recital, she wouldn’t risk the opportunity to impress for her personal life. 

She grabbed her flute case and flew out of the door, prepared to show everyone how perfect she could be. 

On the other end, Noah hung up. His brown eyes red from tiredness, his limbs exhausted. He wore a white singlet and sweatpants. He used the razor to line the white powder in a thin line, and poured it down into a beaker of liquid. Smiling, he stirred the concoction. He poured it down a little syringe with a needle at its end, and punctured it into his veins. He moaned in pleasure as he pushed the liquid down into his blood. The surge of energy and ecstasy he felt made him laugh. His room was hazy and cluttered with all sorts of junk, but he didn’t care. He had enough of this miracle powder for weeks, and enough money from his girlfriends to supply him for months. He laughed at the world, how everything was playing in his favour. 

Allison was already on stage, the spotlight on her. She played beautifully, trying to keep herself calm. She was in a different world, she was at peace. As she enjoyed the melody, she could feel the serenity of the world. Before she could play the final note, her calm broke. The man seated in the front row yawned, rather exasperatingly. He made a low grumbling noise when he was done stretching his arms, he looked as if he’d just woken up from a nap. Allison felt that her music was meant to be enjoyed, not as a lullaby. 

She stopped playing. The tune ended rather abruptly. She glared at the man who broke her confidence, and he could only return her with a look of curiosity. She shut her eyes, refusing to cry, she felt emotion wash her over. She was now angry. 

“What gives you people the right to yawn, rather like a pig as well. What gives you people the right to even listen to my music. You’re all disgusting!” She blustered, then proceeded to spit in the man’s direction. She stormed out of the doors of the auditorium, slamming the doors shut behind her. She ran, she ran as fast as she could to the road to get a taxi. But she wasn’t going home, she was going somewhere else. 

She slammed her fist against the door, her eyes ablaze. She gripped the flute case tightly in her hands as she waited. The door creaked open rather slowly, to reveal a rather lethargic Noah. He rolled his eyes at her at went back in. Allison ushered herself in and coughed when she inhaled the pungent smoke. She covered her mouth with her sleeve as she paced to Noah’s sofa. Noah turned on the television and disregarded her with a sort of boredom she had never saw before. 

“Hey! Look at me. Why did you hang up.” Allison demanded for answers, her hands around her hips in anger. Noah ran his fingers through his brown hair, then batted his eyelashes at her. “Don’t give me that fake innocent look.” Allison proceeded on to take the television remote and turn the device off. Noah looked supremely irritated, he went to her and begun to unbutton the blouse of her uniform. 

Allison swatted him away like a fly, then stared at him in horror. “What do you think you’re doing!” She buttoned herself up again, taking a step back away from Noah. Noah was enraged now, how could she hit him like that. He went forward and punched her, but the fist stopped right before her face. Allison had her eyes wide open in terror, her body motionless. “Get to the point already.” Noah stared at her dully with his brown eyes, they were rather small. 

“I’m pregnant you idiot.”