Ten & Levan

31. Thirty One

TEN

About twenty five minutes ago, I was rationally excited for this date, I really was. My mother was even more excited; pumped. She offered to do my hair which I naturally rejected, because who does hair for a date? Oh right, Thea does. But she does her hair everyday so no one even notices. I'm pretty sure if she was here, she would be fanning herself into her grave and chanting Justin's name like a prayer.

But right now, I hate to admit that Justin Cash, the said school hottie is a dull guy. I desperately want to go back in time and tell him I'm busy this weekend, at least I wouldn't be trying to hard to make small talk.

I don't know what's wrong about him, sure he's good looking, extremely polite, has a mildly strong built and everything but something...something's just off. In the last twenty-five minutes since we sat down to have lunch, we've only talked about him playing football and me doing...well, nothing substantial. That's it. I'm sure it's been centuries since I last said something and he heard it. He's wildly distracted.

I excuse myself to go to the bathroom, in order to escape the awkwardness we're just having there. God, he's a gray, I think to myself as I take a deep breath. I enter the kitchen instead of the bathroom and ask for a glass of chilled water. I take my sweet time with the water, watch a little baseball on the flat screen the employees have in here, and frown at myself. Why does drinking water feel more exciting than talking to Justin?

My stomach starts to growl at me so I decide to head back to the table. At least the food is interesting. That's when I see it; the distraction. So it looks like this from a few tables away: Justin's eyes set on a blonde on the table beside ours, she peeks at him every once in a while, she looks familiar, and she's not even alone.

Justin finally realizes that I've been looking at him and straightens up. My brows leap into outer space as I realize what actually is up.

"I can explain," he says. I sit down without glancing at the blonde.

"I'm all ears..."

***

I see a bundle of lilac with blue undertones floating around before I even enter the house. From the window of course. I knock on the door, checking for the rusty old Volkswagen in the garage and sigh when I find out that I wouldn't have to put up with Mr. Emery and the deep brown that drips from his mouth, and eyes, and his every orifice. Not after I know how he treats Levan, not after I know how he's pushed him to the edge uncountable times.

The doorknob turns a slight purple hue when Ava touches it, I see it. She welcomes me in with a wide smile; her eyes tell me how she's relieved that it's me and not her father. And just like every time I meet her, I connect to her. I offer to help her with her drawings but she tells me she wouldn't want me to see any of it. She assures me it's just for the sake of unfinished art with a smile.

"Levan's in his room, just so you know," she says, giggling under her breath.

"What a bummer," I roll my eyes as I drag myself up the staircase and leave her to her art.

When I enter his room, I find him sleeping, submerged in darkness; his legs curled, his shirt ridden up the side of his waist so his skin peeks through just a little. I sense a slight tightening in my chest and a fluttering in my breath. Did I have too much soda in the twenty minutes I spent waiting for my Pasta, while Justin checked out his ex-girlfriend? I shake my head and massage tiny circles below my neck.

I walk up to his bed and take a closer look at him, just to be sure. Just to make sure he's only sleeping. I've never seen him sleeping before, but I'm certain by his deep breathing that he's dreaming. For some reason, I'm glad that he dreams. It's very important to dream. I run my hands through his pale hair and push windswept wisps out of his eyes. I wonder if he can feel my fingertips on his forehead, even though I'm trying so hard to stay afloat. I wonder what he could possibly dream up in this deep, dark cave, so I draw the curtains aside, just so the setting sun caresses his eyelids and gives his dreams more than black and gray and blue; perhaps a different hue.

Just as I prepare to leave, the wind blows several sheets of paper under my feet. Damn, he doesn't want me to read them, not yet. So I bend down with half-shut eyes, I don't even get a glimpse, and start to the stack them up, the rustling leaves.

Levan shoots up and grabs the stray sheets from me as if he wasn't even sleeping, but once he successfully tucks them in a carton under his bed, the grogginess makes its first appearance in his step, and the next in his pale blue eyes, which look astounding with a hint of golden sunlight in them.

"I'm sorry, I drew the curtains and the wind-" I start to explain

"It's alright," he says, his voice soft and throaty together. His eyes dart to the clock on his barren wall, "you're back already?"

"Yeah, date kinda got over before it even started," I tell him, dropping my purse on the floor and plopping down next to him.

"What happened?" he asks, turning to face me and making my eyes dart to his eye; his brilliant pale blues. Damn, I can't look anywhere but.

"Long story short, Justin's ex was sitting right next to us, and he obviously saw her and couldn't focus on his brilliant date," I point a long finger at myself, "I could see that he was in pain because she was with someone else so I..."

"Don't tell me you..." he rolls his eyes away from me, and I can't help but laugh at how predictable I've become to him.

"I did, I asked him to talk to her; she was obviously missing him as well," I tell him. He slaps his palm on his eyes and shakes his head.

"Ten,"

"I know, but I had to do it, what if they're really in love?" He looks up at me and presses his lips together. "I'm stupid, I know, but I'm just a hopeless romantic like that," I reassure him. He takes a deep breath as I stand up and start to scale his room.

"Then what are you sulking about? You did what you wanted to," he says.

"Ugh, I'm just...I'm really disappointed in today because, you know, I was really looking forward to a date after a million years of exile," I tell him. He frowns, his throat working on a gulp. I sense the words in his mouth; he wants me to shut up. Well, I want him to say something, this soliloquy isn't going well. "I mean, I didn't want it to specifically go somewhere or anything, I just wanted to go out on a date because it's been so long since the last time. I'm pretty sure it was before I got sick."

Levan stares off into a distance far away. It must be awkward for him, I get it, so I turn about to stare outside of the window at the darkening sky. Well, I hadn't realized how I felt about the idea of dating again up until now, and I'm surprised by my own thoughts.

"Why don't we ever go out on a date?" says Levan, his voice distance. I turn around to look at him. A silence starts to engulf the space between the two of us, and my heartbeat goes incognito as I soak his words in.

What the hell, Levan. I blink and then sigh, leaning against the window. He stares at me like he has forgotten what he just said. He's unbelievable.

"Because you never asked, silly..."

nic