I SEE YOU NOW (A Cara Delevingne Fanfic) GxG

CHAPTER III: Samantha

Could it be fate that Cara and I meet again for the second time? If only I believe in fate. I laughed at myself for even considering such. Things just happen. Bad things.

Breathe, Samantha. Breathe. Breathe in through your nose. And exhale through your mouth.

It's what I always do whenever I'm having an anxiety attack. It works most of the time. But that time wasn't one of those.

I turned on the faucet and let the sound of gushing water fill the deafening silence in the comfort room. Collecting a bit of water on my shaking hands, I quickly splashed it unto my face, giving me that "wake up, Samantha, this isn't you" realization. I paused for another minute and tried to empty my head.

My hand, no longer shaking, then pulled a clean paper towel nearby and wiped my face with it. Breathe.

I looked up and stared at myself on the mirror.

I looked horrible. My eyes were still slightly red trying not to lose control and cry. Without glasses, everything that's two meters away was completely blurry to me now. But I could clearly see my lost self.

Why am I like this? Why can't I stand up for myself when I know I should have? Cara reminded me of someone I used to work for before I went to Hollywood. And I always cried whenever she treated me like shit. I became someone I wasn't proud of. I wanted to be a strong, independent woman like how a young girl wanted to be a princess. But it was hopeless. My own demons were stronger than me.

I exhaled through my mouth and calmed myself down.

I shouldn't be afraid of her, I thought to myself. Cara's not going to hurt me. Physically, I guess. Let's just focus on the wonderful news I've had today. Yeah, right. Focus on happy thoughts.

James liked the script. Wait, he loved it. He said he'll talk to some producers that might like the plot line and he'll contact me sooner for any update.

I put on my round glasses and smiled at myself on the mirror. I always had this monologue in my mind whenever I'm alone. But I don't care. This is my way of thinking and saving myself from these kind of attacks.

All I know from now on was to avoid Cara. I hated her for making me feel this way -- accusing me of stalking her as Roo had before. I hated them both for making me feel this way.

After gaining some composure and made sure no trace of evident sadness from my face, I grabbed my bag and left the comfort room. I didn't even bother to look around the place, and wonder where Cara had been. I walked and walked until my feet hurt. 

I knew I had to leave that place as soon as possible. As far away from Cara as possible.

~~~

"You're late!" Gary yelled the moment I climbed down from the cab. He was wearing his usual brown beanie and thick coat jacket that would reach his knees. It was what he convinced himself cool outfit nowadays. He's one of my best friends. Although, he settled for that title for the meantime after he attempted to kiss me one drunken night, not realizing we're both into girls.

I forced a laugh, knowing he was only joking. "Shut up, you know I'm friggin early. It's not even dark yet."

Gary grinned from ear to ear. Then he took the sling bag from my shoulder, as if it was heavy. "So... I'm reading something off from your face... did the meeting go well?"

He must have noticed a different aura from me so I tried to shake myself from it. Think happy thoughts.

"Actually, it's good news," I enthusiastically announced as we began heading toward the set. Gary is an indie film director. I met him and the rest of my friends from the internet. It was supposed to be only for a one short commercial project. And then one invited the others to celebrate and drink and the rest was history. We've known each other for like three years now. It was nice having a second family away from home.