I SEE YOU NOW (A Cara Delevingne Fanfic) GxG

CHAPTER IX: Samantha

"Are you ready?" Gary nervously asked, peering through the door. 

I looked at him by his reflection on the mirror in front of me.

I exhaled heavily. "Yeah, sure, I'll be out in a sec."

Convinced, Gary left with his bass strapped around his shoulder.

I stared at myself on the mirror and calmed myself down. I wasn't nervous about the performance actually. But what happened just recently made me confused yet certainly happy. Cara followed me on Instagram. And she immediately replied to my message.

It doesn't mean anything, Sam. She was just trying to be friendly, I whispered to myself. At least, that's a baby step toward a growing friendship.

Someone rapped against the door, bringing me back to reality. I swung the strap carrying the electric guitar around my shoulder. And looked at myself again on the mirror.

"It was nothing," I said to myself one last time.

~~~

The thing I love about performing is that I get to be a different person. It's like when I'm writing another story about another character. Only this time, I get to be that character. Even just for a little while, I get to live a life that's not mine. 

I'm not myself when I'm onstage. Honestly, I like myself better when I'm on stage. I am more confident and bold and crazy but in a good way. I don't stutter anymore and I don't even care what other people think about me.

"Hello, everybody!" I screamed enthusiastically. I looked at my side and I saw Kelly on the piano, Eric's on/off girlfriend. The people cheered from their seats, a crowd of more than twenty, which surprised me for a moment.

I can do this. Just don't think of Cara. Or Rooney.

Then, we began performing.

After four very lively songs to which the crowd responded impressively, we paused for a quick break and we discussed which song to do for the finale. I grabbed the acoustic guitar nearby and uttered, "I wrote a new song last Thursday."

"Why are we only hearing this now?" Eric complained, his hands were on his waist.

"It's in the key of G," I said, strapping the guitar around my shoulder. "Eric, beat the drums gradually, start slow on the first refrain then louder on the bridge."

Eric nodded. I looked at Kelly and advised her about the keys and that she could improvise it if she likes.

I grabbed Gary as we went back on the stage. "Copy me," I whispered through his ears. He nodded okay.

"Hey, guys!" I said through the mic. "I hope you had a wonderful time with us tonight. I hope you enjoyed our show as much as we enjoyed entertaining you. We have one last song to perform tonight..... It's never before heard and performed but I hope you'll enjoy it just the same.... This is called Lost Stars."

The people clapped their hands and I heard one whistled from a corner but I couldn't see where it came from against the spotlight shining above. I should be nervous. But like I said, the real Samantha does not exist on stage.

Then, I looked back toward my band mates and asked, "Ready?"

Eric shrugged his shoulders.

"Go for it," Kelly uttered. Then I started to strum the guitar. And I heard Kelly going along with me.

"Please don't see, just a girl caught up in dreams and fantasies
Please see me, reaching out for someone I can't see
Take my hand, let's see where we wake up tomorrow
Best laid plans, sometimes it's just a one night stand
I'll be damned, Cupid's demanding back its arrow"

I heard Eric chiming in with his drums and Gary mimicking my chords.

"So let's get drunk on our tears
And God, tell us the reason
Youth is wasted on the young
It's hunting season and the lambs are on the run, searching for meaning
But are we all lost stars trying to light up the dark"

And we were jamming in harmony, like we all knew the song I just created too well.

"Who are we? Just a speck of dust within the galaxy
Woe is me, if we're not careful, turns into reality
Don't you dare, let our best memories bring you sorrow"

As I put myself through the song, images of Rooney and her ex-boyfriend McDowell suddenly flashed before me. They were getting back together, the news said. 

And the pain from the betrayal hurt more than from the breakup itself. It was like nothing happened between Rooney and me. Like what we had, whatever it was, didn't matter to her as much as it had to me. And I hated her for that. I hated myself for loving her this much. 

All of the memories we shared together, especially the happy ones, flooded back overwhelmingly. No one can be happy all the time. 

"Yesterday, I saw a lion kissed a deer
Turn the page, maybe we'll find a brand new ending
Where we're dancing in our tears"

I saw from the corner of my eye that Gary was staring at me, probably realizing the meaning behind this song. He gave me a glare that I understood as "we need to talk later about this".

Then I heard Eric beat his drums very loudly, signaling the bridge.

My eyes were now all watery so I decided to close them and feel the song as I sang the bridge in a high pitched voice.

"And I thought I saw you out there crying, ooohh
And I thought I heard you call my name, yeahh
And I thought I heard you out there crying oh
Just the same oh yeah, yeah, yeah
God, give us the reason youth is wasted on the young. . ."

I opened my eyes and my tears were falling nonstop just like last time. I didn't care anymore what the crowd might think. I'm broken, I know that myself. I got damaged because I loved someone. And there's nothing wrong with that. I'm okay with that. I think I am.

"....but are we all lost stars trying to light up the dark. .."

Then last strum and the song ended. Everyone gave us a loud standing ovation. I wiped the tears from my eyes as I grinned from ear to ear thanking the crowd and my band mates for a wonderful night.

Gary gave me the thumbs up as he went to put his arms around my shoulder, unintentionally comforting me while Eric just smiled reassuringly. Kelly hugged me onstage and complimented about how great the song was. We then bowed to the crowd and thanked them again.

Once offstage, I hurriedly made a run to our dressing room and in there, I cried uncontrollably. The real Samantha was back.

(Song credits - Lost Stars by Adam Levine/Keira Knightley)