I SEE YOU NOW (A Cara Delevingne Fanfic) GxG

CHAPTER XVIII: Cara

I wanted to run after Sam. Tell her everything there was to know. Tell her that I didn't mean to hurt her. That what happened last night meant the world to me. That it wasn't just because we were trying to find comfort from each other's arms. That I truly loved her.

But when the paparazzi showed up and took pictures of us, I hurriedly revved the engine and drove on. I wanted them to incinerate. Why do they always have to target Sam's place? Is it because they are trying too hard to come up with news about what happened to me after Annie and I's breakup?

I went home feeling sorry and devastated. I wanted to call Sam. I wanted to tell her that I wanted to take the risk and fall in love with her. Be with her even if we barely knew each other. But could she be feeling the same way too? What if what I said in the car made her think twice about Rooney and how she still loves her?

I wanted Sam to call me. I wanted her to be the one who initiates and makes the move. I wanted to feel that I matter to her just as she matters to me. I wanted her to fight her feelings for me if she ever has one. I wanted her to disagree with what I said this morning in the car. Maybe she wasn't really that into me.

Kendall called an hour after I had gone home. She told me about the pictures of Sam and I surfacing around the internet. I didn't care anymore. Let them know. Let them think what was not even there.

"C," Kendall murmured through the speakers.

"Yeah?" I was slouching myself on the couch. I realized I haven't really moved since I stepped inside my apartment.

"What happened between you and Sam?"

I was taken aback by what Kendall asked. Could she know what Sam and I did last night?

When Kendall hadn't heard a response from me, she carried on, "I mean, we noticed that there was like a dead air between you two this morning during breakfast..."

Oh. That.

"....did you two had a fight or... some misunderstanding last night..."

I wanted Kendall to know about everything but I wasn't even sure if I knew it myself.

So I just immediately answered, "No, we didn't fight. Maybe Sam was just tired during mornings. I was wasted too so that was maybe hangover talking."

I could hear Kendall sigh from the other line, though I couldn't tell if she was convinced or not.

"So what are you planning to do today?" Kendall changed the topic, noticing I wasn't in the mood to talk about Sam. She really knows me too well.

What am I going to do today? I didn't have anything to do until tomorrow where I'd be at a photoshoot, where I'd try to act like a normal crazy person, try to be happy when I'm not, try to forget nothing happened during the weekends.

I thought about Sam and how I wanted to spend the rest of my day with her. If only we didn't end our conversation like that. If only I searched for any chance we could be together longer and didn't ditch her in that bedroom this morning. I would have a better answer to Kendall's question.

"No,.. I plan to spend my day sleeping on my bed," I said, massaging my temple. "My head's also a bitch right now."

I heard Kendall murmur okay then we ended the call. But not before she let out the only advice bestfriends would give, "You can tell everything to me, C. To us."

But I didn't. Even if I wanted.

What is wrong with me? I couldn't stop thinking about Sam. Surely, what happened last night was the best thing that happened in my life. I felt loved. And it was amazing. But every happy thing has it consequences. I had no idea it would be that short.