Boys Will Be Boys *Ryden*

Sarah Smiles Like Sarah Doesn't Care

The rest of rehearsal was awkward and uncomfortable, with Brendon and Ryan doing everything possible to avoid interacting with each other, and Spencer and Jon afraid to talk or joke around out of fear of making things worse. The two of them had no idea what the hell was going on. Zack, on the other hand, knew exactly what was going on, and he scowled as he watched the disaster of a rehearsal come to an end. When it finally did, Brendon left the room heading in one direction and Ryan left heading in the other. After a few seconds of deliberation and a promise to the other two guys that he'd be right back to help them pack up, Zack set off after Brendon.

He caught up to him at the bank of elevators, but before he had a chance to talk, Brendon said, "It's none of your business, Zack."

In spite of his rising temper, Zack kept his voice even as he replied, "See, Brendon, that's the thing. Maybe it wasn't my business before, but now it's affecting the whole band, thereby making it my business."

Brendon stayed silent, staring straight ahead at the elevator door as if he was trying to will it open with sheer mindpower.

Speaking quietly, Zack said, "What are you doing to him, Brendon?"

Brendon whipped his gaze away from the elevators and fixed Zack with a death glare. "Are you fucking kidding me right now?" he said, his voice scarily low.

"Do I look like I'm kidding?" Zack was 6 inches taller and 100 pounds heavier than Brendon, so he didn't feel particularly threatened.

A loud ding signaled the arrival of the elevator, and the door slid open. Brendon stepped into it and jabbed at the "door close" button, but Zack shoved his arm out in front of the sensor and stepped inside with him. Brendon rolled his eyes like a bratty kid, and in spite of himself, Zack had to hide a smirk.

"Where are we heading?" he asked.

"Well, I was planning to go back to the bus until soundcheck, but I don't feel like being around the other guys right now. So I was just going to take a walk."

"By other guys, you mean other guy. You don't want to be around Ryan," Zack stated the obvious as they exited the elevator into the main lobby.

"Sure, if you feel the need to be blunt about it, then yeah. I don't want to be around Ryan and his pissy little mood swings."

"Then we have something in common, because I don't either. And I hate that you're the one causing his pissy little mood swings."

Brendon, who had been making fast strides toward the exit that led outdoors, stopped in his tracks and looked directly at Zack. "You don't think I hate it too?"

"Then why did you even start this in the first place?"

"I didn't have a fuckin' choice, Zack. I didn't expect to feel like this. I like girls. I can't explain how it got this far, but it did, and it fucking sucks." Brendon was in Zack's face at this point. "He's my best friend."

Zack let those words hang in the air for a minute, feeling them sink in.

"You're going to hurt him."

"I don't want to."

"But you're going to."

They stood there in silence, still facing off against each other.

"Are you seeing Sarah tonight?" Zack finally asked.

"Yes."

"Goddammit, Brendon. You're going to ruin this whole band."

Brendon broke eye contact first. Zack turned and walked back to the elevators.

*****

Soundcheck was just as awkward as rehearsal, but they got it done. Backstage before the show, as they changed into their stage clothes, Ryan debated about approaching Brendon, but he didn't know whether he wanted to apologize or tell him to fuck off. Brendon was the one who'd started this whole mess, so Ryan was confused as to why he felt the need to apologize to Brendon. He'd known it was a horrible idea from the start, so maybe he was just feeling guilty for allowing it to happen at all. But Brendon was also at fault for repeatedly throwing himself at Ryan. How was Ryan supposed to resist that, when deep down he wanted it, and had for a long time?

Unable to decide what to say to him, Ryan chose to continue avoiding him.

The show went surprisingly well, all things considered. The Speech seemed somewhat lackluster, but Ryan was pretty sure he was the only one who noticed. It was during the next song, Lying, that Ryan saw her: Sarah, in the front row. Ryan almost fucked up the song completely, but managed to get it together. He knew Brendon must have pulled some strings to get her right up front like that.

Seven songs to go and it felt like an eternity. When it was finally over, Ryan didn't think he'd ever been so happy for a show to come to an end. After taking their bow, he bolted, heading straight for the showers, where he stripped and stood under the hot spray for 10 minutes. When he came out, he threw on some jeans and a t-shirt and made his way toward the exit, heading for the tour bus. He was beyond done with this day and wanted nothing more than to hole up in his bunk and have everyone leave him the hell alone.

He was stopped short by a female voice calling out, "Ryan!"

Instinctively, Ryan turned in the direction of the voice. Sarah. Of fucking course. She was sitting next to Brendon on one of the couches. Ryan cursed himself for stopping. He'd been in this business long enough to know that sometimes it was best to ignore all the voices calling his name and just forge ahead to his destination. He was tempted to turn away from her and keep walking, but he couldn't bring himself to be that much of an asshole. Sarah hadn't done anything to him. Not knowingly, anyway.

"Hey," Ryan forced himself to say, trying to keep his tone casual but not cold. It wasn't easy to strike a balance between the two.

Sarah had no trouble striking a balance between enthusiastic and sincere. "Come back to my hotel with us!" She invited, bumping her shoulder against Brendon's and leaving no doubt as to who she meant by 'us'. "My friends and I are having a little get-together. They'd love to meet you."

Before he could stop himself, Ryan glanced in Brendon's direction. Brendon wouldn't look him in the eye.

"Thanks, but don't we have to start driving in a few hours?" Ryan asked pointedly.

"Not until five a.m." Jon said, coming up behind him and throwing his arm around Ryan's shoulders. "Come on, Ry. Me and Spence are going. Booze and girls..."

"Pretty girls," Sarah added, flashing him a smile. Under any other circumstances Ryan would have to admit she was cute, but right then all he could think was, Nice. Throwing her friends out as bait and luring Jon in like a stupid fish.

Unfortunately, thanks to Jon, now he felt trapped and couldn't think of a way to get out of going without making an already uncomfortable situation even more uncomfortable. Thinking longingly of his bunk, he turned to Jon and said, "Fine. How are we getting there?"