What if I Go?

Runaway Rule #4

LEO POV

I feel full of pain and tears and I empty of emotion. I fear for my choice. These memories are the memories I have forced myself to forget. To never look back on, but remember their lessons

Both choices are frightening yet they both beckon me. I don't know what to do. My fears swirl inside me like a raging storm. I have a perfect memory, yet I force myself to forget.

Until now.

Now I must go through every agony. Every pain. Every single treacherous moment! I must be afraid. I must escape. That's what my every bone aches to do, but there's something else. Something I've never felt before. Not since Mom died. Not since my world fell apart.

Hope. I have hope.

Hope that my friends will stay by my side. Hope that I will have a better life. Hope that I'm not a freak. Hope that tomorrow will be better. That I will make it through this. Hope that when I wake up, I will fall into my friend's welcoming arms.

I have hope because of my friends.

Gods, I miss them! I wish they were here with me reliving my memories. I will tell them of my past afterwards. After this I can be myself.

Can I be myself though? Or will they be like Tyler or any of my other 'friends' I've had?

You see I made another Runaway rule.
I actually don't know where it came from. Possibly purely from the fact I had been hurt and betrayed so many times, I wrote it down in my notebook, consisting of the runaway rules.

#Don't get too close to anyone.

I broke this rule. Truly, I did. To be with my best friends and all of camp. I still have that nagging thought that they could betray me in the end.

But why am I not listening to it?

I can't find an answer to that. I might never find an answer to that.

For some reason I think of my mother's words; everything can be fixed.

Am I being fixed?

Yes. Yes, I am.