Friends with Benefits

Part 13

Friends With Benefits part 13:

I didn't push him away as he devoured my neck.


I was still in a shocked state of what he had said to me moments ago.


He doesn't love me, him saying so the other day was just him trying to shut me up.


He didn't even care about me in any other way than a friend, or in his words a "kid." My heart is torn to pieces and I tears started to pour out of my eyes and I began crying really hard.


I was making sobbing noises and he didn't even stop kissing my neck, he actually started to lean me farther back onto the couch and got on top of me.


I let out a very loud sob and he stopped his actions to my neck. He didn't lift his head out of the area though so I couldn't see his eyes.


He wasn't moving but I could see his back move up and down due to his breathing.


He finally lifted his head up, still straddled over me and said "you really aren't going to let it go are you?" He wiped my tears with his left-hand thumb. "I-I d-don't..." I choked on my own words due to my erratic sobbing.


"Please calm yourself so I can understand what's coming out of your mouth." He said still not moving, he didn't even look effected by my actions.


I didn't obey his orders and took my hands from my sides and covered my face as much as I could and continued to cry.


I heard him sigh but he still didn't move. I was like this for a good 5 minutes until I said with my hands still covering myself and him still in his position "I don't want to share, I don't like it. You can either be mine and only mine or you can go catch std's with some other sluts but I'm done." I said still unstable but I wanted him to see that I'm not a whore.


I'm not a toy either.


"I can't take you seriously when you can't even look me in the eyes." He said in a normal voice that I didn't hear anything but casualty in.


I slowly took my hands away from my face. I'm an ugly cryer but Justin has seen me like this before.


He was the one I would always run to when I had gotten my heart broken by some boy. Now it's him doing the breaking, ironic huh? "I'm done Justin." I said looking into his amber orbs that didn't look bothered by my declaration.


He is breaking and shattering a little bit of my heart every second. "You aren't done." He said like it was obvious.


I was mad he thought I wasn't strong enough to be completely done with him. "Yes I am! I can live without you!" I exclaimed.


"No that's not what I mean," he began "I mean- I- god you really want me to just want you don't you? You're serious?" He said looking away from me for the first time in the past 10 minutes.


I innocently nodded my head. "Maybe we can try it, I mean, I don't know okay um ugh. I've always been a sucker when you cried. Give me the night to think this over okay?" He asked me.


What is there to think over?


"If you don't love me don't be with me!" I said instinctively. "What the hell one minute you want me and the next you don't!" He finally got up from on top of me and sat on the couch.


"I want you to be mine, but only if you want me to be yours just as much." I defended myself.


"Destiny you already know I love you! I just don't want to commit! But if your really saying now or never..." He trailed off. "This is what I need to think about. I'll call you tomorrow." He quickly kissed my cheek and just like that was out the door.


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I WANT TO MAKE THE NEXT CHAPTER DIRTY. MESSAGE ME OR COMMENT IF THAT'S OKAY OR NOT BECAUSE I KNOW SOME POEPLE DONT LIKE IT.