hansol🍭
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I look at him and shake my head.
"No, no please."
He nods and comes closer to me. "I have to. For us. I am so in love with you, Hansol. It's not fair to me or you or Byungjoo, that i'm living here with you."
"I don't care, Xero. I need you. You're my best friend. I can't live without you by me." My eyes start to gloss with tears. "I'm not going to be out of your life, just out of your apartment. Please don't cry." He says, wiping a tear from my face. I sniffle and look up at him.
"Please don't leave."
"Hansol-"
"I need you, Xero. I can't be by myself. I'm scared." I say in between cries. "Hansol, I'm sorry. I have to." He tries to comfort me by pulling me in for a hug, but I push him back. "Why are you making me cry?" More tears come and I look at him. He looks completely broken and lost for words. "I love you. That's why i'm doing this." I wipe my tears with my hands. I'm so pathetic. That's why Xero is leaving me. I can't get a grip on life and I can't stop crying or complaining. I bet that's why Kidoh left me. That's why I wasn't good enough on my first date with Bjoo. I'm just bringing Xero down. I'm a burden to him. He doesn't deserve the shit I make him go through.
"Get out of my room."
"What?"
"Out. Get out of my room. My apartment. My life."
"No, Hansol, don't say-"
"YOU'RE GOING TO LEAVE ME ANYWAYS! JUST DO IT NOW! EVERYONE LEAVES ME EVENTUALLY!"
I yell, loudly in his face. He's shocked.
"I will never leave you-"
"You're doing it now."
Silence. The only thing I can hear clearly is my fast pace heartbeat and my short breaths.
"Please. Leave me alone. Don't come back for your stuff until i'm gone." I say, more calmly. I look at him again, and I notice his face is stained with tears. I look away. We're doing what's best for each other. Although both of our hearts are breaking right now.
"Where are you going?"
"Leave."
"Hansol-"
"I don't love you."
It got really silent after I said that. I regretted those words as soon as they came out of my mouth. I look up quickly at him, and he's trying not to break. His facial expression is broken, but I think it's been like that for a while. He's just been hiding it.
"Xero, I didn't mean it in that-"
He put his hand up to motion for me to stop talking.
"I know. You don't love me, that's why I'm moving out. Even though you just hurt me really bad right now, I will still always be here for you, Hansol. Call me whenever you need something, just not today."
And with that, he walked out of my room. I don't want him to walk out of my life. I follow him out my door and watch him go towards the apartment door. "Xero, no." I sob out, standing by my door way. He ignores me and opens the door. I run towards him, but it's too late. The door slams in my face and I fall back, landing on my butt. I curse to myself and try to calm my breath, while thinking about all the events that had just happened.
I really don't want to pity myself, but...
Why do people always leave me?
Byungjoo, please don't leave.
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A/N•••
I got the iphone 7.
I also got braces and it's weird af.
Tbh, I think i've lost my writing skills. 😣
