Knowing HEZEKIEL (Completed)

Chapter 27

Everything has change in an instant. I was on TV, I was humiliated, I was kicked out on the university. Yllana Zoe Alegre became a woman who's not good enough, a bitch, a whore and a disgrace of her family.

I lost everything. I lost what I had. But the best thing about it was the fact that even everything falls into pieces, that everyone loses hopes on me, there's this someone who never lost count on me. Yong tipong walang-wala na ako pero may isang tao paring nandiyan para sakin. That's maybe made the pain bearable enough to face.

I owe him everything, even his life and with him everything seems so easy, so real. Being with Hezekiel made me strong enough to keep on lifting up kahit gustong-gusto ko nang sumuko. Pero hindi pa rin nawawala sakin yong sakit sa tuwing pinagmamasdan ko siya. Kung sana nakikila ko siya ng mas maaga. If I had him in his saddest part of his life, he maybe didn't come up with that idea. Kasi sa totoo lang, kung wala si Hezekiel sa tabi ko ngayon, I may end up killing myself too.

"What are you going to do in your life now Yllana?" mommy shouted but I never uttered one word. Wala na rin naman akong magagawa diba? It's already said and done. I'm done being the perfect one.

"Ano nang buhay mo ngayon? God! Hindi ko na alam kung anong gagawin ko sayong bata ka!" again, she slap me. Hindi na ako nag react. It hurts but not hurt enough for me to cry again. Sawa na akong umiyak kasi wala na rin namang mangyayari.

"You can't get out on this house Yllana hanggat hindi mo inaayos yang buhay mo!" then she slam the door. Napapakit ako saka humiga sa kama. Kahit ikinulong ako ni Mommy dito, Hezekiel always found a way out. Isa rin ata yon sa naging dahilan kung bakit ayuko nang magsalita pa sa kanila kasi kuntento na akong ganito na lang ang buhay ko. I had Hezekiel and that's really what matters the most.

Tumayo ako saka pumunta sa banyo. Nakita ko siyang natutulog sa bathtub. I smiled. For the past 2 days his wings never disappears. Ano kayang nagawa niya para manatili yang pakpak niya? I want to ask yet I'm afraid because I might end up losing him too. Umupo na lang ako sa tiles saka nagsimulang magsindi ng sigarilyo. Napasandal ako sa dingding habang ninanamnam ang usok sa bibig ko.

I'm in the middle of puffing the stick when someone emerges at the door. Nanlaki ang mata ko dahil mukha ni Daddy at ate Biatrice ang nakita ko. I got panic that I hurriedly throw the stick on the tub. I saw how ate Biatrice glared at me. Pero kinaladkad ako ni Daddy palabas ng banyo at isang sampal ang naramdaman ko bago ako natumba sa kama ko.

"Walang hiya kang bata ka!" I felt his big hands grab my shoulder at isang sampal ulit ang natanggap ko. Narinig ko na lang ang palahaw na iyak ni Ate Biatrice habang niyayakap ako.

"Dad stop it!"

"I don't want to see her face in an hour. Maliwanag ba yon Biatrice? Palayasin mo yang kapatid mo at para matuto siya sa dapat niyang gawin. She's a shame. Wala akong anak na kagaya niya. Sinisira niya lang ang pangalan ng pamilyang to!"

Tahimik akong nagliligpit ng mga gamit ko. Hindi ko matingnan si Ate na ngayon ay tinutulungan ako. I don't want to cry. I really don't so I'm just being poker face here and act as if it's the best thing ever happened in my perfect life.