The struggles of a Nigerian girl

My Life at Home

              Leaving the hostel and being able to go to school from home was all good and shii at first but then i realized it wasn't all that.

             To begin with, there was my mom. Now i love my mom and all but she can be a pain in the ass and Nigerian moms are something else. You can know a Nigerian mom by the following attributes;

1) When you say, "Mummy, I'm Sorry!" And she replies, "Sorry for yourself!"

2) When you ask her where you should drop something and she says, "Drop it on my head."

3) When she brings food wrapped in a nylon bag from a party.

4) When you say, ''Mummy, I have fever." And she replies you, "Why won't you have fever when you press phone every night"

5) When you say, "Mummy I took 2nd in my class." and she replies, "So the person that took
first has two heads abi?"

6) When she takes the DSTV remote to work, just to punish you.

7) When you are watching television with her and then she sleeps off and still doesn't
want you to change the channel.

9) When she asks you if the food she served you is enough, and you reply no, and she says, come and eat me na.

10) When she tells you, if I hear Peem, you will hear Ween.

11) When she touches hot pot comfortably without a cloth or paper.

12) When she tells you, ''I didn't kill my mother, so you will not kill me''.

13) When she calls you from your room upstairs and then sends you back upstairs to bring her
purse.

14) When you ask her to refund the money you borrowed her and she tells you, "All the food you have been eating in the house nko? Which money did you think was used in buying them?''

         My mom loves to nag, just do one wrong thing and she can nag about it for weeks and she never forgets. when you do something wrong she will bring up what you did five years ago or probably something you did as a baby and add it to your  list of faults and nag about it some more. She can go on for hours and when she is done she goes "after you people will say i talk too much"

            At home you can never just say you want to be alone, there was the whole calling my name thingy. Anything that needed to be done my name is always first on their lips. Sometimes i felt i should have been the only child since my siblings did nothing (okay, this is a slight exaggeration considering they got their own fair share of disturbance). Like i could be in my room minding my own business and she will shout my name from the living room just to make me pass the remote or ask why am too quiet or why i am in my room alone.

        Then there were my siblings. I love my brother and sister to pieces but i have to say they are super annoying. Since my brother was born my sister endorsed him her favorite sibling (that traitor). So basically i was mostly on my own, now don't get me wrong there were times we got along really well, like when we are all angry at our parents (funny how a common enemy brings people together).

   And there was my dad, he was hardly around son we aren't really close but i like to say he is my favorite parent. He didn't nag like my mom and he believed in sparing the rod and as i said he was hardly around. (qualities that make him my favorite parent)