Alone

Hell (school)

Authors Note: sorry I haven't updated in a while. Well I hope you like it. Comment if I should continue.

Trigger warning

Beep Beep "Fuck" I cursed at my alarm clock. I wish all the alarm clocks and the world would just disappear, so i would never have to wake up again. The house was quiet, like always. I looked over to the clock "10:00am great I'm late". I skip taking a shower to avoid anymore nightmares, well day-mares I guess. I carefully looked for clothes that would hopefully seem unattractive to him. Wearing t-shirts and sweatpants almost everyday didn't really help in the making friends department. I was never the popular type anyway. After a long time I decide on some black sweat pants and a long sleeve grey shirt,I grab my black hoody and head for the door.

I walk out into the crisp December air and start to walk towards the bus stop down the block. I shift a little,trying to get comfortable on cold metal bench. I reach into my pocket pulling out my phone to see when the next bus comes."Well perfect, 20 minutes". I groan as I pop my earbuds in and turn on some music. "Hey" a voice almost shouts. I jump a little and turn to see an older man probably in his mid 40s. " uh sorry if I scared you ,do you know when the bus comes"? I hesitate to answer but not trying to be rude I soon reply " Oh yeah in about 10 minutes ". I start to feel his eyes staring me up and down. My muscles start to tense up, I could feel the butterflies in my stomach begin to flutter. "Go away go away,please go away" my mind begins to race. "Ok thanks" he says with a shaky voice and walks away. My heart starts to slow down its rapid beating. A few minutes later the bus pulls up to the curb,I swipe my card and make my way to an empty seat in the back. I didn't want to conversate with anymore people today unless I had to.

It was the end of lunch when I finally get to school. I walked down the crowded hallway full of kids rushing to their next class. A cluster of laughter erupts from a group friends chatting. The slamming of lockers continue. I keep my head down,like I always do. Trying to make my self completely invisible. It's easier and safer that way. You don't have to deal with fake friends and awkward introductions to new people. I was half way to my 7th period class and I let out a sigh of relief. "Whack" I feel a slap on my butt. "Haha" Brooke and her friends were laughing. Noah Green,a sophomore was also laughing hysterically. " Hey Emma when you gonna let me fuck, I bet your still a virgin". He said between laugh. That word,why that word. I hated that word because it's something I was not anymore. Everything around me started to freeze, a white noise filled my ears. Everyone in the hallway focus was now on me, my cheeks begin to feel hot. "Mr. Green that is enough" Mr.O shouted down the hallway pulling me back down to earth, a shiver went down my spine. My lungs started to feel like they were suffocating. The students who seconds ago were staring started to empty the hallway. "Sorry Mr. O it was just a joke. It won't happen again" he grinned." I'm sure it won't or I'll have to write you up and you won't be playing ball next week." Noah walked away with a smirk on his face. He knew that would never happen. They would never let there star player get in trouble. Mr. O started to walk towards me. I could feel the bile start to raise in my throat, I swallowed hard to keep my from embarrassing myself even more. He stood right in front of my face. I can smell his old coffee breath,which didn't help my stomach. By now all my classmates were safely in their classrooms,and we stood alone in the quiet hallway. "Em you ok? I have a free period if you would like to come in to talk". "Talk" yeah right I thought to myself we never just talk. Having a "talk" is how are sick " relationship" started.

"Emma is everything alright at home your grades are slipping." Everything at home wasn't alright dad was always away on "business trips" where my mother assumed he was sleeping with other women. When he was home all he and mom would do is fight. The fighting caused my brother to go out more and my sister would often want to stay at a friend's house. Making me lose my whole family ,I was alone. I never "clicked" with anyone at school so I had no friends. When Mr. O gave me some attention I clawed at it. "It's fine it's just my parents aren't the happiest at the moment". "Parents don't always get along but I'm sure they love you". he said with a half hearted smile. There was a long pause "Just like I love you" I started to get scared but couldn't move out of my desk. It felt like my feet were covered in cement stopping me from escaping. He leaned over me and started to smell my hair. He walked over to the door locked it and pulled the blind to the window down. I could feel my heart beating faster, it felt like it was going to pop out of my chest. He stood me up and lifted my arms up to take off my shirt. "Mr. O stop please" I whimper. " Its ok Em, it's ok because we love each other". He starts to look all over my body with so much lust in his eyes. That was the first time we had one of our "talks" that was 3 months ago. We've been having "talks" almost every week since then. "Why would he do that to me? Did i give him mixed signals?" My mind been racing over these questions for the last few months. It's my fault now because I didn't tell anyone.

"Em hello? Are you listening" this pulled me out of my thoughts. " Yeah I'm fine" I struggle to reply. "Remember you have tutoring with me after school". "Yeah ok" he leans in closer ,almost touching my ear " Love you". I hate you I HATE YOU my mind screamed. " I love you too" tears formed in my eyes" as I replied.

With that he walked away. I turned and walked out the front door. I can't, not today. I wonder the streets for hours and when it starts to get dark I force myself to go home. No one was home so I went up stairs slumped in my bed. "Dear God make me never wake up again". After about 5 minutes I drifted off to slept.