Birthday Wishes

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"Can't he be here? Mummy it's my birthday!"

"Baby, you know he can't be here" she cajoled me and stroked my hair.

"But mummy! Why!?" I snapped out of her hold, arms crossed.

"Because, he's busy" she sighed.

I felt Cameron's strong hands hold me.

"Aubrey, I'm sorry he can't be here. He has other priorities and we aren't part of them. We're not important to him" he locked eyes with mummy and she snarled at him "Cameron!"

"Mummy" I turned to her and the anger in her eyes turned to sadness "is what Cam says true?"

She took my hand and sat on the sofa, I sat on her lap and looked up at her.

"Go on mum tell her" Cameron said as he walked out.

"Tell me what mummy?"

"Daddy...." she trailed off "daddy has a new wife, baby. A new daughter and family."

The tears tricked down my face and I sprinted up the stairs.

It was my birthday tomorrow, June 12th

In my room I had a huge window and I opened it and hung my legs out, looking at the sky and I cried.

Knowing my father didn't love me.

I woke up, drenched in sweat and breathing heavily.

2:19

Why does this always happen to me?

I wiped away the sweat and wrapped up tighter in the blanket because all of a sudden I felt so cold.

I held Maya's hand in mine. She's still a baby and I'm going on 17.

Tomorrow, I'll be 17.

I drifted off into uneasy sleep.

When I woke up the girls were around me, silently grinning.

They remembered.

"You guys remembered?" I was in disbelief

"Yeah, I stole this cupcake from my job last night." Juliet gave me a very squished cupcake.

But then I woke up again.

What the fuck?

6:01

I got a glass of cold water and chugged it, then another.

When your stuck here all you can do is sleep.

I'm 17.

At 7:34 Richard came downstairs.

"I need Juliet, Maya and Aaliyah to come with me." He didn't pick me because of last time and I counted my lucky stars.

How many do I have left to use?

I sat back and imagined what today, my birthday, would have been like.

I closed my eyes tightly and visualised my mother, in a beautiful white dress that made her look like an angel. Her long blonde hair framing her face and glowing in the summer sun.

Cameron, his chocolate brown eyes glistening and a huge smile plastered across his 8 year old face. He's two years older than me. Wearing his favourite blue shirt with the Liverpool logo on it.

And little me, dressed in a bright pink shirt and my black shorts. My hair neatly plaited in pretty little Dutch braids. I felt at peace.

I saw myself cutting the cake and mum and Cam singing to me. I was laughing and smiling. I felt at home, basking in the hot sun rays.

But when I opened my eyes it disappeared. All I could see was a few of the girls sitting around, bored and the darkness of the room.

"Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me, happy birthday to Aubrey, happy birthday to me" I mumbled under my breath. Just then Juliet, Maya and Aaliyah came back, looking depleted.

"I'm sorry guys."

"It's okay, it was horrible though"

"I can imagine" I felt so bad for them, Maya especially.

"Maya, come here" I opened my arms for her and she cried into my shoulder.

Let's go to sleep now I mouthed to Aaliyah and she flicked off the light.

I comforted her in my arms, her sobbing loudly and she fell asleep. She would get used to it, I hated seeing her like this. She's only a baby.

"Happy birthday Aubrey" I whispered to myself and I fell asleep, resting my head on hers.

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