Eventually (Without You)

Chapter 7

She's Gone...

She left me..

I cried the whole night...

I calmed down and decided to call her..

I searched for my phone..

That was when I noticed how I messed up the room..

The rays of the sun blinded me..

I moved my hand lazily in the bed with my eyes closed..

With my other arm above my eyes..

Trying to block the sun off my eyes..

As I was roaming my hand..

When I caught something..

I opened my eye..

And saw a white band paper folded neatly on her side of the bed..

I was just staring at it..

Feeling nothing...

I sat down and opened the paper..

Jiyong,

            I'm sorry.. I'm sure by now, you already knew that I left.. If you're trying to look for me.. Please don't.. Jiyong, I was happy when I meet you at the concert.. When you walked to my direction as you we're singing 'Butterfly', time stood still and everything around us vanished.. It was like as if, there was only you and me..

I was even more happy, when one of your bouncer asked me to come with him.. For you personally asked him to look for me..

             My heart was committing somersault as I was nearing your dressing room.. And when I arrived, my heart went standstill as I saw you leisurely sitting right in front of me.. I knew right then that my heart was nolonger mine.. So when you asked me to come see you again.. I did not hesitate..

               Every moment that I've spent with you,  was like a dream that finally came true.. You showed me a different side of you, that I never thought had actually existed.. You're sweet, kind and caring.. You're sensitive to my needs and treated me like a queen.. But I fell for you even more.. When You asked me to be your girl.. I was the happiest and luckiest girl in the world..

                 Everyday that I've spent with you was a blessing from GOD, that I know I do not deserve.. I know the consequencesof being by your side, I thought I was ready.. I was fool to believe that our love can move the mountains..

                  Days, Months, Years had passed.. People became suspicious about our relationship... Your fans bashed me and kept on telling me to fuck off.. They said I was ugly, and I never deserved you..That you were just toying me and you're going to Trash me off once you're done with me.. I tried to be strong, and not give a damn about them..

                  Everything fit perfectly, your career continued to bloom.. While I on the other hand was left broken.. I've tried to smile, to hide away the tears I've shed..I thought, I should endure this.. Because I love you...

                     But yesterday, was different..I saw the news, the photos and videos.. I know in my heart, that it was fake.. That what that girl was saying, we're all lies.. But I guess that was the last straw.. I realized something, I can't live a life like this.. No matter how much I love you, I just can't.. I'm loosing myself, I've became more insecure and needy.. I feel so alone, I depend on you too much..

                 Oh Jiyong!! How I wanted to stay by your side, but you weren't there.. you've neglected me, I feel used.. I know I shouldn't feel this way, But I just can't help it.. I'm not worthy for your love, Not when I'm like this.. I love you Jiyong, I really do.. But this isn't't going to work..

                 I'm sorry, thank you for everything.. I will never forget you.. I hope one day, when we meet again.. Things will be different.. I'm going to put myself back together.. Until then..

                  I love you Jiyong, and goodbye..

                                       Loving you Always,

                                                     Dara