January 16, 2018
It was a chilly afternoon and I was in my bed crying. My mom had just passed away. My mom was lovely but very ill. I remember seeing my dad hold her hand as he kneed beside the bed. Life was different now, everything was different. My home felt empty. Just like my heart did. How could this happen? Why did it happen? Those were some of the questions I could never take out of my head. Nothing made sense anymore. I didn't make sense anymore. My dad was someone else now. He kept telling me things I could never understand like "I have to do what she said" or "how could I do what she said?" But every time I asked he just walked away from me. My walks around town were a lot darker now. The sun didn't shine like it used to. Everyone seemed so happy and I felt so... out of place. Crying is one of my main things in my routine. But how I could I not cry I lost her, I lost everything. She was my bestfriend, she was my insperation. Some people came to visit and say there sorrys and how bad they felt for our loss. No one could ever feel so sorry. No one cared they just "had" to pretend they did. Thats how I think about it at least. Dad says they really do mean it, but how could you ever be so sure. Nothings sure in this world, from now on nothing was sure in me.
