To Tiger

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by andromeda2098

by andromeda2098

Dear Tiger,

Yesterday, I was in fb. Yes, facebook, and well, out of mere impusle and curiosity, I decided to stalk your girl. I'm not sure what spirit entered me that I didn't even think twice with what I was about to do, maybe I was desperate to hear from you through her, or maybe I just couldn't hold the seams in together anymore, but anyway, I was scrolling through, hoping that I could get a picture of you with her. It was to waste though, since we were not friends and all I could ever get through was just a minimal glimpse of her life with you. So far, the information about you and her kept hurting me so severely. I wished I didn't have to feel this way, but I did, I just truthfuly, stupidly did.

And then I saw how much she loved you...it made me reflect of my feelings for you. Tiger, she's completely head over heals for you, just like I was during third year. Another girl loved you the way I did, and I felt crushed to not be her. You know that I am uber possessive, you know that sharing you was never something I could do, because in my very deepest and darkest thoughts, I had to make you mine. Mine, tiger. That's how things should've been.

But I wasn't really there for you, was I? Is that one of the reasons you chose her over me? Despite the fact that I hate admitting it, I guess I should be happy for you since you found somebody else to cover those holes of yours, the holes that I once filled is now her job. Then again, she loved you and that was clear, so I asked myself, can you take him from her given the opportunity and chance, would you? I paused and listened to whatever the tiny voice at the back of my head had to say. It said, or rather whispered loudly, I loved you, that was sure, but I just didn't want to hurt her.

Her.

She is a slut, Tiger. Up until now, I still deem her that way, but we are both women...and I know how it feels to be cheated on. so, I might as well place my dirty paws off of you and her. Don't get me wrong though, it probably will still feel good to raise my two middle fingers at her and see how she'd react to that, but you probably love her too and that will mean I can't kill her. Yet.

Funnily, like a sadist and all the hurt in me, I went to your profile too. When I arrived, I found you were still you, that was obvious, the only thing that remained though was the very curious you with all your quotes and shares, it was a little untouched too...or maybe that was just you, making sure you covered all your tracks and evidences with her so that when I stalk, I wouldn't see and freak out like I did the last time. That was probably smart, but I hated you for doing that. Are you ashamed of her, if that is case? Hah, you really still haven't changed.

But, I look at the cover picture, and for a moment, I just stared blankly at it. My mind reeled. For sure, there was a hidden meaning there, it said, "I loved her not for the way she danced with my angels, but for the way the sound of her name could silence my demons." Then at the description was the word, sings.

Buried emotions within me started to burst through like wildfire. At some point, I knew you were still thinking of me, that maybe, despite all the anger and the hate and the frustration, I was still there in your heart. Am I, Tiger? I wish I was...because you're still here in mine, all sealed, chained and locked up tight. I try so hard to set you free, but you silence my demons in a way nobody else could...so I why should I let you go?

Love and hate, the Mermaid.