Hardly Hurts

Bed Time And Bad Times

   I'm sitting on the couch, looking at cute pictures of dogs on my iPhone. 'There's a beautiful Labrador... And there's a Golden Retriever mixed with an Irish Setter... Oh, and there's a Pomeranian! They're all so cuuute!' I think to myself,'I wonder if Kellen will let me have a dog? That'd be so amazing.' I've always been a dog lover. They're my favorite. Whereas cats just freak me out.
   I then feel a little tingle on my arm and go to itch it, but it stings at my touch. I look at my arm and see the wrapping around it and remember what Kellen did. 'Oh right... Ugh, whatever, he'll apologize. He just has anger issues. He never means to hurt me. It's always just in the moment that he lashes out. Usually.' I go back to looking at my phone when I hear keys rattling and the door open. I quickly pull my legs onto the couch and look to my left to see Kellen walking in. But something's wrong. He looks sad and really upset.
'Should I say anything?' I think,'Maybe something happened at his meeting.' I slowly get up and set my phone on the couch's arm rest. I walk across the now clean and glass-free floor to him, lightly tripping on the rug. Kellen drops his briefcase and loosens his necktie. I am now standing in front of him. He's still tall but he looks shorter than usual. Probably because he's heavily slouching and his head is hanging down. I reach up my hands and caress his face. He wraps his arms around me and pulls me close to him, causing my hands to fall from his face and land against his chest. I can feel his heart beating fast and his chest move up and down from his breathing. I look up at him and to see his eyes closed and mouth drooping down at the sides. 'He's sad,' I think,'He must be upset about earlier. This is usually what he does when he's ashamed of what he's done.' I move my hands from his chest and warp myself around his torso. His sides expand as he sighs and lets me go. I take a step back to look him in the eyes. He is very upset. He lightly grabs my right arm-the one he cut. He holds it up by his face and whispers,"Baby, I'm so sorry... I-I don't know what's wrong with me. I shouldn't have just left. I should've helped you. I'm sorry. Please don't leave me. You're all I have, sunshine."
I take in his words and forgive him, though I've heard the same thing many times before. I take back my arm and look him in the eyes,"Kel, I forgive you. It's okay, I promise. It was just a tiny scratch anyways,' 'Lies' I thought,"I over reacted and wrapped it up too much. Also, I'm sorry I yelled. I was just startled."
"Oh it's okay. We all yell and get startled at times. It's whatever now." Kellen replies. I look to the floor and think to myself,'I shouldn't have to apologize... He broke it. No, stop, Amanda. He's the one hurting right now. Stop thinking of yourself.'
I look back up at him and he's looking around the room. He notices that everything is cleaned up and smirks. 'At least he's happier now.'
"So, Kel," I begin,"Would you like me to make you some tea? I can make sweet tea or some Earl Grey or-" He cuts me off and says,"Nah I'm fine, thanks though. I'm gonna go take a shower. Wanna come with me..?" He smiles mischievously at me and grabs me by the hips. I turn a bright shade of red and look down, then to the left, towards the living room and my phone. We're still standing in the hallway. I look back up at him and he's looking down my shirt. 'Ugh, he always does this... No, STOP AMANDA! He's had a hard day. Get over it.' I take a step back and say,"Oh um well, I'd love to, but I'm actually very hungry so I'm going to make myself... Or uh I mean, us some dinner. Does that sound good, Kel?" He snatches his hands away and stands up straight. His face hardens and he says in a low voice,"Fine. Make us dinner and miss out on a great time. I thought you maybe wanted that, but whatever." He storms off and walks up the stairs to our room. I sigh and look down again. 'He's always looking to have sex, whether it be with me or something else... Ugh.' I turn around and go into the kitchen just past the stairs. The walls are a nice shade of light blue and the counters are all white, as well as the cabinets. There is an island in the middle, and that's where the stove is too. Above it hangs a rack full of cooking utensils and pots and pans. I pull out my mother's old recipe for chili and start gabbing all the ingredients I'll be needing. I take down the pot and stirring spoon I'll need and turn on one of the eyes' of the stove.