Back To December

seven

I don't remember leaving the hotel, but somehow I found myself outside, my legs crossed and my head in my hands as I sat on a bench. I did it. I told him.

And I ran.

I hadn't given anyone a chance to say anything or try and stop me, I just pushed past Harry and I ran. I'm a fucking idiot. I blame the vodka. I looked down when I felt something wet land on my leg, and it was only then I realised I was crying. I sniffed, wiping my eyes with the back of my hand and smudging my eyeliner and mascara everywhere. I must look like a weirdo, sat outside at four in the morning crying.

"…I don’t know, Louis, I'm round the corner from the hotel…" I froze when I heard Harry's voice. Oh, God, please don't let them see me like this. "I don't know! I've looked everywhere I can think of and- NO! No, you stay there! No! Because if she sees you then she'll run again and- Louis I don't give a shit, just let me find her alright?! And don't tell Liam, we don't want him killing anyone… Namely, you and me for letting her run off… I will. I know you're sorry, Louis, just… you can talk to her when I find her. Lou… I-I promised her that she wouldn't lose you when she told you how she felt… Please don't make me break that promise… I know, I know you do but I just-" he stopped talking, and the footsteps I could hear stopped behind me. "I've found her," he mumbled. "I will. Yes, I will, Louis. Lou- Louis! I'm hanging up now!" he grumbled, moving round the bench and taking the seat next to me. "…He's worried sick about you," he told me quietly, I stayed silent, refusing to look at him. "Cass. Come back, alright? It's freezing out here."

"Does he hate me?" I asked quietly, and Harry sighed next to me.

"Of course he doesn't hate you Cassidy. He loves you, he was pacing  round his room when I left, Zayn had to sit on him to stop him from running out to try and find you!"

"I can't go back Harry," I whispered pathetically. "I don't want to see him, I can't see him when I'm like this!"

"Then you won't," Harry put an arm around my waist and pulled me into a standing position. "But you are coming back with me. It's too cold to stay out here, you don't have to see Louis if you don't want to. We'll just go straight to our room and lock the door, okay?"

"Okay," I whispered.

"Okay. Good. Come on," he kept his arm around my waist and guided me back to the hotel, where I cleaned my make-up off and got changed into my pyjamas, stealing one of Harry's hoodies before I climbed into bed and cuddled up to him.

I must have dozed off, because the next thing I remember was opening my eyes when I heard hushed, but angry, voices coming from the door.

"Please Harry! I just want to see that she's-"

"She's fine, I told you she's fine, she's sleeping and she doesn't want to see you! She… She thinks you're going to hate her, please just let her sleep and I swear I'll make her talk to you tomorrow-"

"You'll make her talk to me? What, she doesn't want to speak to me at all?"

"Of course she does, she's just embarrassed and-"

"Harry?" I called sleepily, throwing the covers back and standing up. "Come back to bed, I'm cold…" I told him, and I heard him sigh loudly.

"I'll be back in a minute Cass, just… stay there a sec," he called back.

"Who are you talking talk?" I yawned, running a hand through my messy hair and walking towards the door, stopping when I saw Louis stood there, his eyes landing on me as he looked past Harry. "Oh. Uhm, hi."