Back To December

twenty-four

I eventually cried myself to sleep, after texting Harry to tell him that Louis knew everything. He was yet to reply.

Louis had stayed out all night, only coming back when I was packing our things away back into our bags. He hadn’t spoken to me on the way to the airport or on the plane – not even when I’d woken up and apologised for sleeping on his shoulder, which he’d let me do. The first time he spoke to me was when we stepped off the plane at Gatwick. He’d grabbed tight hold of my hand and told me to keep my head down because there were fans outside.

Now, as we stepped out of the lift and headed towards the apartment, he dropped my hand and grabbed my small suitcase from me.

“I can take it,” I whispered.

“I’ve got it,” he mumbled, walking away from me.

“I wasn’t talking about the suitcase,” I told him quietly, falling into step beside him. “I meant whatever you’re going to do, whatever you want to say, if you hate me. I can take it. I deserve it.”

“…I don’t hate you, Cassidy. How can I go from loving you so much, to hating you?” he shook his head. “I just… I’m mad, at you and him and myself, because I knew this would happen but I let myself believe I was being paranoid. I think… Right now, the three of us need to sit down and talk. Harry needs to know you love him – I’m assuming you haven’t told him?” he raised an eyebrow and I shook my head slowly. “Thought not. Well, he needs to know, Cass. Everything needs to be put out in the open so we can work through it and you can…” he sighed, running a hand through his hair. “You can be with him, or whatever.”

“Louis…” I trailed off.

“No,” he shook his head, stopping in front of the door and taking his key out of his pocket. “You… You realise that this,” he gestured between us. “You know it’s over, right?” he whispered sadly. I bit my lip, my gaze finding the floor as tears filled my eyes. “Cassie… I just… I can’t be with you if you’re in love with him, too. You cheated on me, Cass.”

“I know,” I whispered. “I didn’t… I never meant to hurt you, Louis.”

“Well, you did,” Louis sighed, unlocking the front door and kicking it open. He dumped our bags by the door and walked further into the apartment, scoffing loudly when he stepped into the kitchen.

“What?” I frowned, walking up behind him. My breath caught in my throat when I saw a shirtless Harry stood there, pinning a blonde girl – who was wearing nothing but her underwear and one of his t-shirts - to the kitchen counter. “Oh.” I mumbled. Harry jumped away from her and smiled sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck as the girl blushed. “Okay then.”

“Obviously doesn’t love you as much as he claims,” Louis raised his eyebrows at me. I frowned, avoiding Harry’s confused eyes as I turned round to walk out of the apartment.

“Wha- Cass? Where are you going, what’s wrong?” Harry called, and I could hear his footsteps as he followed me. “Cassidy! What did Louis mean?”

“Nothing, go back to- well, whoever she is!” I sniffed, my bottom lip trembling as I carried on walking.

“Cassidy,” Harry grabbed hold of my arm and turned me round. “Are you crying…? What’s wrong?”

“Didn’t you get my text?” I asked, my eyes narrowed as I wiped away a couple of tears that had fallen from my eyes. Harry shook his head. “He knows. I told him. He knows everything.”

“Y- when?” he asked, his eyes wide. “Why?”

“Because I couldn’t pretend anymore!” I laughed weakly. “I couldn’t pretend that I hadn’t cheated on him, I couldn’t make out like everything was fine, I couldn’t lie to him and say I didn’t have feelings for you and I-I-” I stopped, shaking my head when I realised what I’d said. Harry froze, his hand on the back of his head as he eyed me carefully.