Back To December

fifteen

Clutching the mug of coffee in my hands, I smiled as I let my eyes drift over to where Louis was sat with his youngest sisters. Feeling my eyes on him, he looked up and winked at me, a grin on his face. I felt myself blush and looked away when Daisy turned her head to stare at me.

"…He's hardly taken his eyes off you all weekend," Jay whispered from beside me. I turned to her and smiled softly, shrugging my shoulders. We'd gotten to her house a little before lunchtime yesterday, Louis becoming wrapped up in his sisters almost as soon as we'd walked through the door, it was adorable! Louis had driven us there, calming down immensely when he found out my parents couldn't make it this weekend. We'd spent the day with his mum and sisters, before going out for a meal with them, his dad and his grandparents. I'd actually had a really lovely time, even if Louis had been incredibly nervous!

"Do you miss him?" I asked quietly. Jay watched her son, a proud smile on her face as she nodded slowly, knowing that we had to leave soon.

"The girls keep me occupied, though. I'm guessing it's harder for your parents, having both their children gone. Anne, too. Speaking of Anne…" she paused, making sure was occupied before she spoke to me again. "I have to ask, Cassidy. Harry…?" she trailed off, and I stared at the cup on my hands.

"We're just friends," I mumbled, seeing the questioning look on her face. "…How much has Louis told you?"

"Everything, I think," Jay frowned, her eyes shifting over to Lottie who was staring at us. She shook her head, gesturing for me to follow her as she walked out of the room. I stood up, which caught Louis' attention and he raised his eyebrows at me.

"Just going to talk to your mum," I smiled softly and he nodded, his eyes still on me as I left the room and followed Jay into the kitchen where she was sat at the table. She waited for me to sit opposite her before speaking.

"What is there to tell, Cassidy?" she asked quietly and I shrugged my shoulders, nervously picking at the sleeve of my jumper. "I know Harry has feelings for you, I've known that for a long time, I could tell by the way he looked at you. Louis looks at you exactly the same way. And I know something happened between you when you went home before Christmas."

"That's it, pretty much," I whispered. "But we're friends. That's all we are, that's all we'll ever be. I promise. I'm not going to hurt Louis. I-I love him."

"I know you do," Jay smiled at me. "I know you don't want to hurt him – the way he looks at you, you look at him exactly the same. I could see in your eyes the second I met you two years ago how much he meant to you and I can't imagine how hard it's been for you, him being so oblivious to it all and you having to watch him date other girls…" she paused, leaning forward slightly. "But you and Harry are so close, sweetheart."

"I know, but he's just-"

"He's just in love with you, too," Jay interrupted. "I don't usually get involved in Louis' relationships, he's 21 now, he can make his own decisions and he's old enough to deal with the fallout. Don't get me wrong, Cassidy, I love the two of you together! I haven't seen him this happy in a long time, which is why I brought the Harry situation up… The two of you, you've been that cliché will they, won't they best friend double act since the very start of the band. Anne used to tell me all the time that Harry never shut up about you, that she was convinced you were going to end up as his girlfriend. That first week they spent at your house before they went to judges houses, Louis came home at the end of it and told me about everything you and Harry had been up to. He had Hannah, then, but the way his eyes and his whole face lit up when he spoke about you, I had a horrible feeling my baby was going to get his heart broken."

"I'd never break his heart," I insisted.

"You almost did," Jay raised an eyebrow at me. "After what happened with you and Harry, he came home for a couple of days and I don't want to see him that hurt again," she told me, and I quickly looked away from her as I felt the tears in my eyes. "Oh, Cassidy I'm not saying this to upset you, I just want to make sure that this means as much to you as it does to Louis. There's more to consider than just the two of you if this ends badly. You're Liam's little sister, there's Harry to think about…"