Save The Broken Girl

chapter 5

that night Selen went to her room after dinner , sat on her bed holding her history book to continue her studying ,but how can she when all that on her mind is her mother's words.

how she is never enough and never good enough to empress her mother, how she is a shame in the family, unwanted by everyone .

how people judge her, the people who know nothing about her, not even her name, how they all better than her,not just in her mother's eyes but also in her own eyes .

Selen stood up and walked to her mirror ,she looked herself up and down , her fat legs ,fat stomach ,her  ugly eyes, stupid unhealthy ugly hair .

tears start falling down her eyes ,why her!! out of all the people on this earth, why her life is like this,why can't she be loved ?

a sobbing Selen walked to her drawer ,opened it and took the thing that always made her feel better, the only thing that she can relay on and trust to take her pain away ,the one thing that hurt her but make her feel better make her feel numb  that thing was a sharp razor she had for a year or so now ,

she looks at it for a moment and think of how for the past year this razor was her only friend.her best friend,

the razor got closer  and closer to her wrest , for a second, she had to chose, to press it harder and take the pain away, or to put that sharp thing in it place to remain unused for the night ?

she made her mind up and put it away , she doesn't want to be weak , she doesnt want for the first time to cut ,

'but it's hard, look at your life, it's painfull ' she thought 

'everyone is weak ,but they are good at hidden it 'the voice in the back of her mind said

' hid your weakness ,do it ' it screamed to her 'it will take the pain away ,it will make you feel better ' 

that harsh but yet honest voice kept screaming at her to do it , 

' you are weak, all of the things that they say about you are true,' 

'you are worthless ,ugly,fat ,stupid girl' 

it kept screaming and yelling at her,and more tears fall down her cheeks like a waterfall, she had to make it stop, she can't take that anymore .so in one movment ,she took the razor again and left another cut on her ugly body .

it sting a little bit but for sure it made her feel better , 'i deserve this' that what was she thinking , i'm 'no one' , she cleaned up ,and now she was on her way back to the bed when she cough a glance of herself in the mirror ,and what she saw this time as a  smile on her face , the same one that everyone see but they don't know that it's fake and behind it a misrable and broken girl .

everyone was getting out of the class with their history exam that they did last week , Selen was walking out with a sad face, even though she got 96 in that exam ,she know she won't please her mother .

she walked to her locker to take her book for the next class when a brown haird ,brown eyed,tall guy spotted her. the same guy who couldn't stop thinking about her for the last month .

Chase walked to her with a huge smile on his face and said 

"hay Jones" he greated 

"Hay Chase" Selen answered with another fake smile on her face that no one doubt ,but she was wrong for once, Chase knew that her smiles are fake , he didn't know why but he wanted to turn it to a real one ,so he asked her

"what's wrong ?you seem sad " 

"nothing just got my exam's grad " the first thought that hit him was that she failed, he remember how last week she was nervous about how she doesn't have enough time to study well for the exam 

"it's okay you know ,failing an exam once in a while " he gave her a small smile that shows her that he care and that it's okay ,that everything will be okay " what did you get ?" he asked 

"96 " she said , Chase was confused, that was a high grad and it's a history exam which is hardly anyone can get a high grad as this one ,why will she be upset about it ?

"and you are upset because of this?" at that moment Selen realized that he doesn't know about her mother or anything like that , so she said  jokingly 

"yeah i wanted to get 100 " she smiled a big fake smile at him 

"yup , you are a nerd " chase joked which made her laugh , it was not fully fake laugh , some how and for some reason when she is around chase a lot of things can be real , like her laugh and smile, but Chase knew that this girl is hiding something .

 after school Selen was dreading one thing ,which was HOME, if you can call it that , she didn't want to go home after school to hear her mother's lecture about her 'low' grad ,and she didn't want to go back to see her smirking sibling who laugh at her, she loves them but it still hurt .

all the time she was in school she was thinking of a way to escape that part of the day that will cause another scare on her ugly body at night ,all that she got was 'go back home late' but ,will it work ? if she went home late she will get yelled at for being late and irresponsible human being ,which mean more pain ,she knew she will face that  pain sooner or later ,and the brave her choose sooner than later .

Selen walked her way home till she reached her home doorsteps,knowing fully what will face her when she get inside ,so she took a deep breathe as she slowly opened the door and as fast as she can walk she start walking to the stairs which will lead to her bedroom .

she was close, so close to the stairs when she heard the voice that made her freeze in her place and not move, the voice that scared her the most ,

"where do you think you'r going?" the manly voice of her older brother said ,James.

Selen slowly turned around to face the devil himself ,her older brother was the type who likes the attention and being 'better' than everyone so he always made sure he was better than Selen , he hated her with Passion ,Selen always thought that he doesn't hate her cause no one can hate his own blood,can they?

but what she didn't know that she was wrong for the first time, he actually hated her ,and all that because she is daddy's little girl , he can't stand that someone's is taking the spotlight beside him , he has to be the favourite child in this house by both parents, you can call him selfish but he doesn't give a fuck what other's think about him as long as he is in other people's eyes he is better than everyone around him ,specially Selen.

After a seconds that passed Selen Answered his question 

"uhm, my room " 

"why so fast ?" a smirking jerk of a brother asked 

"because i need to do my homework ?" she answered his question which looked more of a question than an answer 

"or hiding something " he stated, James was a smart guy ,who noticed everything around him , he can know when someone is lying ,which this time like every time Selen hated it 

"no"

"you know what confuse me ?!" he didn't wait for her answer " Mr.harries is your history teacher ,who  was mine a couple of years ago and if i remember correctly he always hand back the tests after a week ,and as i recall you had a history exam last week right ?" 

that's what she was scared of , her brother telling her mother 

 "so how was the exam sister ?" he asked but he sure knew that she got the exam .

"it was good" she answered scared.

"how much did you get ?" he asked looking like he actually care .

"96" she mumbled  

"wow ,that's a high grad" he said shocked , which also shocked selen , is he really saying this?!"good job sister " he said with a small smile playing on his face as he turned around and walked away,as soon as he turned that small loving smile turned to be a smirk .

--------------------------------------

so what do u think ?

plz vote,comment and fan me 

Gharam