For You

Jaloux

For you,

I'm jealous too...
of all those girls you mentioned...
how you got attached
how you made some efforts
how much you cared
how much you like them
what made you like them that's probably something I don't have or can't do
the memories you shared
the conversations
your interactions with them
I'm even more jealous because they were before me...
and I can't do anything about it
I can't make you not get attached with her.. or make you not like her really much
I can't undo what efforts you did for her.. and words you said to her
I can't do anything about that
and I'm jealous
but I have no choice
it's all done
I just have to accept
that there were girls before me
that you could've ended with
girls you told I love you or I miss you
before me
I feel jealous thinking I wasn't the only one you liked, you got attached to
I don't really say I'm jealous but I am
but I just have to accept...

It's not your fault for having a past.
It's my fault for overreacting to it.

It's my fault for not liking some things that happened in your past.
It's my fault for getting jealous of the girls you encountered in your past.

Because I can't do anything about what went before with you and those girls.

I can't undo what you've done for them and vice versa.

I can't erase the fact that you said things like I miss you and I love you to them.

I can't expunge the feelings you felt for them during those times.

It's my fault because I can't accept the truth that there were girls whom you liked... prior to me.

I'm not dramatizing what happened in your past. But the reality that you liked other girls, and the what-if thoughts consumed me.

I'm sorry for still getting jealous.

I know it's pointless because they're all in the past now. Well, It made me realize I never want you to like any other girls but me.

"You stayed...
That's why you're better than the other girls..."

They left you and it gave me an opportunity to arrive and exist in your life now. They ceased to exist in your life and I want to tell them I'm not giving up on you and I'm here to stay.

I want to thank those girls for just passing by in your life. To be honest, I'm happy that they're out of the scene now. I'm grateful that they gave me a chance to meet a person like you.

They were once a part of you and I need to accept that.

but... I'm happy
to be part of your life now
knowing that you don't wanna lose me too
that you want to make me happy
that you do so much effort for me
for us
that you love me
and miss me

To those girls who happened to share some moments with you in the past, I'm not mad at them, I never was.

Yes, I felt jealous.

However, you proved me how those feelings you had for those girls could never compare to how much you love me.

I know how scared you are to lose me but I'm still here. I won't leave you.

Let's keep the past in the past.
Let's just talk about you and me, now and tomorrow... and always.

But to those girls, I wish them happiness, too. ❤