Over and over, his watch ticked a thousand seconds, and yet it seemed to Louis as though the minute hand had moved but an inch.
Doubt and uncertainty clouded his mind. He sat there, on the paint-chipped bench, just waiting.
Would she ever come? The sun would rise soon and they were supposed to meet an hour ago.
He sat, and sat, and sat, until finally, a graceful figure distorted by the darkness was before him. He pushed down a hopeful feeling; this would be nothing but trouble.
"Louis," was all she could muster, before tears were sliding down her cheeks.
"What do you want?" He snarled, maintaining his bitter façade.
"To apologise- for leaving you in the dark, for tossing you into the unknown- and to explain everything."
Silence.
"I was scared, Lou. I just acted in a panic. I never should have abandoned you- I'm your mother, for Christ's sake, the thought shouldn't have even crossed my mind. And I was stressed. I couldn't handle what I was going through."
His shoulders relaxed involuntarily. He reached for her hand, sighing, still saying nothing.
The sun had started to rise and her familiar, warm face was beginning to take shape; the lake sparkled behind her in the reflection of the newborn sky. She was beautiful, in appearance and in soul.
There was a long pause until finally, she said,
"You know, Daisy and Phoebe ask about you every day. Lottie doesn't visit much anymore." She positioned herself beside him on the seat, looking into his eyes with both remorse and unconditional love.
"It's because we've been so unhappy since you left, your stepfather and I- but I want that to change. I want to tell you that it's okay, it's okay to be angry, it's okay to be confused. It's okay to want to move on. It's okay to want to be okay. We are all hurting, and we can heal together."
The slowly rising sun framed her in a golden halo as she spoke, words of comfort and closure. Tears stung his eyes; he was in awe of the wonderful, caring woman staring lovingly down at him.
"Do it for Fizzy, for Daisy and Phoebe, for Lottie, for Ernest and Doris, for me. Show them that you can get through anything. They love you, I love you, and we're all so proud of you. We can't be okay unless you're okay." She pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead. The pair appeared to glow in the rosy haze of the sunrise as they embraced each other tighter than they ever had before.
"Do you remember the song I used to sing to Daisy?"
A smile played at his lips as a memory of baby Daisy slowly falling asleep to the sound of her mother's soft singing filled his mind.
"Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer, do," she began, voice soothing and calm as it always was.
"I'm half crazy all for the love of you," Together they sang, watching the sun flood the horizon.
"It won't be a stylish marriage,
I can't afford a carriage,
But you'd look sweet upon the seat
Of a bicycle built for two."
-
before you read the next passage, i'd like to remind you that no one should be fighting or trying to use this to gain attention from the boys. we need to be a family and stick together to help them through this. stop being petty bitches. that's all.
jay,
you were so kind. you are what i aspire to be when i become a mother. you fought long and hard and earned your right to freedom; i just wish it could have been a different kind of freedom. i hope that wherever you are, you're so incredibly proud of the impact you made on the world. you raised the most amazing, humble children, and although you didn't get very far with ernest and doris, i'm sure your kids will use the lessons of motherhood they learned from you to allow them to live in your legacy. we love you and we are all devastated.
thank you for everything you've done for the world, for louis, for those in need.
rest easy.
