It's been about a year since Johnny and Dally died and since then a lot has changed. I began to get into a lot of bad habits. I turned to drugs, beer, and smoking. I became the toughest greaser in town. Everyone's afraid of me. I've been thrown in the cooler more times than I can count. The social workers gave up on me cause they said no family would want to adopt a hood. I said whatever and slammed the door in their faces. Darry and Soda don't look at me the same. Darry is so caught up on work and Soda's been pretty busy too. Whenever Soda looks at me his happy go lucky grin vanishes and turns into pity and sorrow. It hurt at first but I couldn't care less. Two bit is in his own little world of Mickey Mouse and other shit. Me and Cherry went out a bit and did stuff but all she cares about is her reputation and she says it's painful to look in my eyes and see what I became. Whatever. My eyes are definitely grey now. Not green just grey. Everyone tells me that.
Steve became my best friend. We're in another gang together. I'm the leader, and Steve is always backing me up. Randy, him, me,Curly, and a couple of other people are in that gang as well. Randy became a greaser. He stopped hanging around the socs and joined us. He said if they didn't like it they could kiss his ass. Me, Steve, and Randy go out and cause trouble. We vandalize, steal, jump people and other things. Soda said he was happy to see that me and Steve were finally getting along but he didn't like the fact we always got in trouble when we were around each other. I don't really care. Everyone talks behind my back. All they say is that I became a no good hood and I'm just another Dallas Winston. They can kiss my ass.
I have a reputation for dating the sluts of Tulsa. The other girls I've hooked up with who weren't hoes were Cherry and Cathy Carlson. I've been with a lot of broads. Like fifteen or so. Steve always asks me to show him how I pick up all these girls. I tell him I got that Ponyboy charm. What not many people know about me is that I have a lot of emotional problems.
I have major depression. I have anxiety. And I have another disturbing little secret. I'm addicted to cutting myself. I've been doing it ever since Johnny's funeral. I do it everyday. The only person who know is Randy and my girlfriend, but they said he wouldn't tell. I have scars going from my wrists to my humerus. I just hope no one finds all the blades and razors I cut myself with. I keep them hidden in my room, I stopped sleeping in the same room with Soda. I told him I was a big boy now and I didn't need to be with my brother no more. So I got my own room now; but then I moved in with Buck.Curly said I was growing up and it was for the best. I agree. You gotta grow up sometime. I don't think Soda or Darry give a hang about me anymore. I don't care and besides I'm not worth anything. I hate Darry for what he does to my girlfriend, Savannah. She's my current girlfriend. I haven't two timed on her yet. He says I shouldn't be with her. But I'm gunna date her anyway. My record for the fuzz is even longer than Dally's. I've been in the bedroom more times than Dally and Tim Shepard combined. I have a lot of nicknames. Crazy, freak, slut, and the list goes on and on.I've tried suicide twice. The first was an overdose. Steve found me with a needle in my veins. The other was when Randy cought me cutting open my wrists. He grabbed the knife and took me to the hospital. I told him not to tell anyone and he didn't tell a word to anyone.
I'm really well built and muscular but I'm really skinny. Only 100 lbs. My hair is still blond from when Johnny bleached it. I stopped greasing it. I don't have time. I have a a noise ring, a couple studs in my lower lip, a piercing in my eyebrow, and I have my tongue pierced. If you ask me that was my most painful one. Steve got a little stud under his lips. And Randy was planning to get some. I'm really tall. Almost six feet. I have a spider web tattoo on my neck. Darry fainted when me with all my piercings and tattoos. He also yelled and kicked me out. I went to Bucks and he let me stay the night. I hooked up with a broad who liked my new look. The next morning Darry swung by and told me I could come back. I don't always go home, but when I do all we do is fight, so I live at Bucks. I wear leather jackets, blue jeans, and white t shirts. A lot of them are blood stained. Everyday I wake up and wonder is it really worth getting up? I know it's not but I do it anyway. I'm getting f's and d's in school and Darry is always beefing about it.If you want to hear more about my life story I'll start from the beginning.
