I woke up feeling dizzy that night. I immediately knew where I was. I was in my room. It was dark in there. Why am I here? I wondered. I just sat there and tried to make out of everything that was going on. I looked at my arms. There were still a lot of scars. Then it hit me. I passed out from earlier after Darry and Soda found out that I cut. I heard voices. They were Darry and Soda's.
''Darry. He needs help.'' Soda said.
''I know that little buddy.''
''Man what are we gunna do?'' Soda asked.
''I don't know. But I do know what we are going to do about Pony.''
''Dar. Why does he do this to himself? Why does he have to put himself in so much pain?'' Soda began to cry. I just sat there. Normally it would make me sick to my stomach knowing Soda was crying over something I did, but I just stopped caring.
''Pony needs help Pepsi-cola. And we'll make sure he gets it.''
''Okay.''
I got out of bed and went to the bathroom. I popped some of the pills I had in my pocket. I took another breath. I looked at myself in the mirror. I saw a towheaded kid with piercings all over his face, grey eyes, pales skin, sunken in face. Then I saw the reflection of a bright boy with green eyes, reddish- brownish hair, a non pierced face, no tattoos on his neck. The old me. The dead me.
I left the bathroom and went straight for my bedroom. I laid down and cried. I hate the new me. The charm is wearing off. But my reputation is out there and it's going to be a part of me for the rest of my life. All I want to do is cut myself until I bleed to death. I heard footsteps.
''Hey Pony?'' It was Soda.
''What.''
''Can me and Darry talk to ya?"'
''Leave me alone Soda. You had to tell him? Do the world a favor and let me die.''
''Pony please don't talk like that.''
''Soda. Why do you want to help me? Please let me die. I don't want to live. I never wanted to. I want to die and I'm going to make sure it happens.'' Darry walked into the room and looked me dead in the eyes.
''Pony, as long as I'm here you're going to stay breathing.''
''Both of you are making a mistake.''
''No Pony'', Soda started, ''you're making the mistake. You still have your whole life. This is just a little portion of your teenage years. Take it from me. They suck. You'll get through it.''
''Guys.''
''What is it kiddo?'' Darry asked me.
'' I have an addiction to a lot of things. Is it okay if I tell you?''
''Sure.''
Drugs, smoking, drinking, sex, pills, cutting myself, burning myself. Startving ''
Both their eyes widen and Darry looked pissed. Probably about the drugs, drinking, and sex parts.
''What did I do wrong?'' Darry said to himself over and over again.
''Pony how long have you been cutting?'' Soda asked me.
''After Johnny and Dally's funeral.''
''That long!?'' Soda screamed at me with tears pouring down his face.
''When did all of this start?''
''It all escalated after Johnny and Dally's funerals.''
''When was the last time you did all of this?''
